So, this post is later than ever because I just spent another 3 hours of my life dedicated to the Bachelorette. Last night was a blast at my house with 18 ladies (counting Miss Mia and Miss Morgan) but it made it hard to realize what was going on. Except that she picked the sweaty Latino.
There was a lot of love last night and not a lot of stupidity which make it hard to be funny. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!
Chris L - First off, he showed up with a cornucopia of fruit for her parents. It's Tahiti, Chris, not Thanksgiving. However, it seemed to work - her family loved him. They may just adopt him anyway. Poor Chris was incredibly confident, telling her siblings he's going to propose, they're going to see him more....um, not so much. It's shocking though, because Ali's mom is a nurse, Chris' mom was a nurse.....Chris' dad taught high school, Ali's dad taught high school, Chris taught high school, Ali's sister teaches.....Chris' dad grew up in Montreal, Ali's dad was born in Montreal......probably best they didn't end up together. I think they were related somewhere along the way. Chris L is still my fave. My cousin just asked if the reason I hadn't sent the blog yet was because I was driving to Cape Cod. Not yet, but it's coming.
Roberto - at dinner, Ali's dad asked what Roberto's favorite baseball team is. Tip for you Roberto. When anyone from Boston asks that question, ESPECIALLY your future father in law, you say the Red Sox. I don't care who you played MLB for. But at least you didn't make up a team like your fiance - the Tampa Blue Rays. Luckily, his dad gave his blessing by saying he didn't have a problem with him asking for her hand in marriage. Isn't that like saying you don't absolutely detest something instead of liking it? Luckily, Mr. Fedetowsky gave the same blessing to Chris, so I don't think it was personal. When he asked her mom what to do to keep her happy, she said to keep doing what you're already doing? Being hot? That seems to be working for Ali. Both in terms of looks and actual sweating capability. The poor boy really needs some Right Guard. For his face. No wonder he loved hanging out in the rain - it covered up the perspiration! Honestly though, Roberto rules. The note on the back of the picture that ended with "let's dance forever" in Spanish, the awesome, awesome proposal.....he did great. I feel like he spoke more in the last episode and in the After the Rose more than the whole season. I really thought she only was lusting after him, but they really are cute. They made a secret handshake one weekend for goodness sake and "went to the movies together" on two different coasts. Very cute.
It was very emotional last night in a ton of good ways and a few sad ones. Ali dumping Chris broke my heart because I had to watch it twice. And I don't care how often they have rainbows in Tahiti, that was amazing for Chris to have that moment with his mom after Ali dumped him. Amazing.
So, now it's the moment you've all been waiting for.......no, not the winner, it's Bachelor Pad time! I still have no idea what's going on, but I will try to do more blogs. However, I can't be housebound every Monday night anymore. So, there's a strong possibility that it will be sent out on Thursdays.
Now, back to the winner. We got to use the tie-breaker! Both Melisa Cook and Jackie DiAmicis had 159 points. And both picked blue. And I gave myself an ulcer today trying to figure out the winner. However, when I talked to Melisa, she said to pick whoever I thought I needed to. And when I talked to Jackie, she said to pick Melisa. She said she thinks Melisa was closer, and Jackie already won last season. So, our Bachelorette Ali winner is Melisa Cook with $192! Congratulations! And Jackie came in second with $36.
Now for the other prize - last place. The "winner" here took an early lagging position and stayed strong. Jennifer Gornto....you are now $12 richer! Take a cue from what I told Lucy last year - don't spend it all in one place.
So happy all of you played this season - it was lots of fun.
Happy Tuesday!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Bachelorette Week 10 - The Men Tell.....Not so Much
Who else thought last night was a bit of a snoozefest? Other than figuring out that I really do still like Craig R, I thought it was kind of boring. That being said, of course I have some comments. :)
Kasey - Chris Harrison hopes he doesn’t regret the tattoo. Um, I hope he does. Otherwise, I hope he doesn’t get a lot of third dates or he will start to resemble Jesse James’ mistress. And Ty respects Kasey for being looney tunes and staying looney tunes. Was that a compliment? But Kasey did have the line of the night: Chris Harrison - “Kasey, bottom line, was Jonathan trying to guard and protect her heart?” Kasey - “No, that was my job.”
Roberto - The shot of him nearly nailing Ali in the head with the champagne cork on the baseball field?!?!? That was hysterical. I actually laughed out loud at that.
Frank - His dad is awesome. Awesome. Actually, his whole family rules for keeping straight faces during that toast. I only felt a little bad for how awkward Ali felt and it totally didn’t compare to how hard I was laughing.
Chris N aka The Phantom - I was dying. All the shots of him coming out of the mist, disappearing during group time.....awesome. Then came the custom made shirt. Way to go Chris N. I literally heard more from him last night than I did in the whole season. And he was funny! Definitely not the same guy.....tanner, talking.....
Jonathan - The guys can’t stand him and think he’s such a pansy. However, he’s too busy brushing the dirt off his shoulder to notice. He did redeem himself a little with the voicemails at the end, so I won’t rag on him too bad. I’m anxious to see how lame he is on Bachelor Pad.
Then came the outtakes....
Ali shrieking with the mouse and literally leaping across the room
Craig R supposedly speaking Spanish only to Roberto......until Jonathan began speaking Spanish as well.
Chris L reverting back to high school - we’re in Turkey and there’s nothing to do except make Craig R wet his pants
Chris Harrison - Who the hell gave me a plastic wine glass?!?!?!?!
So next week, it’s all over. For those of you coming to my house, come early! I’m thinking everyone should get there 6:30/7:00ish so that we can talk and debrief before the show starts. If we learn from the past, we know we’re going to gab anyway, so let’s get it out before the show.
Bachelor Pad - dude I do not think we’ll be able to do a competition. Did anyone else see the previews? It looks like mayhem in a miniseries. Very reminiscent of Real World/Road Rules challenge.
One last time......GOOOOO TEAM CHRIS L.!!!
Kasey - Chris Harrison hopes he doesn’t regret the tattoo. Um, I hope he does. Otherwise, I hope he doesn’t get a lot of third dates or he will start to resemble Jesse James’ mistress. And Ty respects Kasey for being looney tunes and staying looney tunes. Was that a compliment? But Kasey did have the line of the night: Chris Harrison - “Kasey, bottom line, was Jonathan trying to guard and protect her heart?” Kasey - “No, that was my job.”
Roberto - The shot of him nearly nailing Ali in the head with the champagne cork on the baseball field?!?!? That was hysterical. I actually laughed out loud at that.
Frank - His dad is awesome. Awesome. Actually, his whole family rules for keeping straight faces during that toast. I only felt a little bad for how awkward Ali felt and it totally didn’t compare to how hard I was laughing.
Chris N aka The Phantom - I was dying. All the shots of him coming out of the mist, disappearing during group time.....awesome. Then came the custom made shirt. Way to go Chris N. I literally heard more from him last night than I did in the whole season. And he was funny! Definitely not the same guy.....tanner, talking.....
Jonathan - The guys can’t stand him and think he’s such a pansy. However, he’s too busy brushing the dirt off his shoulder to notice. He did redeem himself a little with the voicemails at the end, so I won’t rag on him too bad. I’m anxious to see how lame he is on Bachelor Pad.
Then came the outtakes....
Ali shrieking with the mouse and literally leaping across the room
Craig R supposedly speaking Spanish only to Roberto......until Jonathan began speaking Spanish as well.
Chris L reverting back to high school - we’re in Turkey and there’s nothing to do except make Craig R wet his pants
Chris Harrison - Who the hell gave me a plastic wine glass?!?!?!?!
So next week, it’s all over. For those of you coming to my house, come early! I’m thinking everyone should get there 6:30/7:00ish so that we can talk and debrief before the show starts. If we learn from the past, we know we’re going to gab anyway, so let’s get it out before the show.
Bachelor Pad - dude I do not think we’ll be able to do a competition. Did anyone else see the previews? It looks like mayhem in a miniseries. Very reminiscent of Real World/Road Rules challenge.
One last time......GOOOOO TEAM CHRIS L.!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Bachelorette Madness Week 9 - Tahitian Betrayal
Tahiti may be one of the most beautiful places on earth, but it was ugly last night. Ugly cry, ugly. Poor Ali couldn't contain herself. Let's back it up.......
Roberto - Ali might have made one of the most superficial comments of the season last night. "Roberto is going to be hotter in Tahiti." I think she needs Jake to remind her why she's here. To find a husband. Lord knows he was on it to find a wife. I also think she was here to find a heart shaped lagoon, sit in 12 inches of water and make out with her hotter in Tahiti pseudo boyfriend Roberto. Not that I wouldn't have done the same. Then they both got all dolled up for dinner where Roberto continued to prove that while he is extremely attractive, he's not the best conversationalist. My mind kept jumping back to her dinner with Jesse - awkward. Although, he did tell her he loved her, and that was very cute. Then she told him she had something from Chris Harrison, and you know he only gives the good presents. Ali said she wanted to go to the fantasy suite with Roberto because she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but I think she just wanted to see him naked. Further evidenced by the fact that when she realized his clothes were wet she very seductively removed his shirt (and mic pack) and shut the blinds. I think they were probably getting ready for a nice quiet game of Scrabble.
Chris L. - It is taking all my might to sit here and type this right now rather than run to the airport, impersonate a pilot and hijack a plane to get to Cape Cod. Could he be any better? Seriously. Except for the shot of him and Ali in swim shoes. What was that all about? I guess prioritizing un-cut feet comes above dry clothing, because Lord knows there weren't any rowboats in Tahiti. The cool factor was definitely compensated for when they found pearls in the oysters. But, did anyone else feel like they were being wasteful? Just constantly cracking them open and dropping them? Those could have been good on the half shell. I would have thought more of two New Englanders. Fast forward to their laid back dinner which I thought was awesome. You're in Tahiti, so go ahead and be laid back. Besides, all your clothes are going to get ruined by the ocean when you walk to the room anyway. And I really enjoyed Chris L looking around for Chris Harrison when Ali said he got them something. And the fact that when she pronounced the island for him, he said, "I'm reading this." They're a totally normal couple. Damn it, she definitely picked him. I'm left with all the 5 foot 6 preppy boys in Atlanta. Chris and Ali seemed like they were settling down to do a nightcap puzzle when he pulled the blinds.
Frank - So, I found it coincidental that he realized during the packing for Tahiti process that feelings were brewing inside of him. You would have thought that he could have figured that out before he busted out the suitcase. And as much of a douchebag as he is for what he did, I did feel legitimately happy for him and Nicole. Although it took them about two weeks to get through a conversation that could have taken 5 minutes, they are definitely both in the same place, and I like that. I do not however like baby talk ('I missed your kisses.') Shut up. Frank says, I'm in love with this girl and she is in love with me, and we're going to live happily ever after. That's awesome - honestly. Bad news, though, you are on a national television show where 36 hours earlier you were professing your adoration for another girl. So, Frank heads to Tahiti to blindside Ali. Poor Ali really had no freaking idea walking in. She was talking about how much she missed Frank and how much she needed this date. I really think he could have been the winner. Then the dreaded four words - We. Need. To. Talk. God bless Ali and Frank and their dramatic pauses because their break up conversation rivaled his and Nicole's get back together conversation. However, this one nearly flooded the island. Not that I blame anyone for being upset, but poor Ali couldn't get a grip. I'm halfway surprised that a producer, oh, I'm sorry, staffer, didn't come in halfway through and fix the poor girl's make-up. the flower in her hair hit the deck within 15 seconds. She eventually said good-bye to Frank and sat in the sand where Chris Harrison came to comfort her. I really felt sorry for her and for him - terrible conversation. She told him she gave up everything to be here and he said he did too. Ali said it best, "Apparently not everything, Frank." Good luck with Nicole.
So, we set a new record on Bachelorette last night. LEAST dramatic rose ceremony ever. Two roses, two guys. Ali felt it was important for both of them to accept the rose. Have we seen anyone ever decline a rose? I can't remember seeing that. Also, ABC finally found the money for some boats so that the guys didn't have to wade through the water to the rose ceremony. Must have been bonus time at the network.
Next week, the guys tell all. I'm hoping they tell about Bachelor Pad! That show looks great.
As expected, Jackie is holding on to the lead, and Melisa C is in second. If she picks Chris L, Jackie has it in the bag. If she picks Roberto, we go to a tie-breaker between Jackie and Melisa C. For the dramatic effect, and for the fact that this means Chris L is temporarily single, I am now hoping Ali picks Roberto.
Happy Tuesday!
Roberto - Ali might have made one of the most superficial comments of the season last night. "Roberto is going to be hotter in Tahiti." I think she needs Jake to remind her why she's here. To find a husband. Lord knows he was on it to find a wife. I also think she was here to find a heart shaped lagoon, sit in 12 inches of water and make out with her hotter in Tahiti pseudo boyfriend Roberto. Not that I wouldn't have done the same. Then they both got all dolled up for dinner where Roberto continued to prove that while he is extremely attractive, he's not the best conversationalist. My mind kept jumping back to her dinner with Jesse - awkward. Although, he did tell her he loved her, and that was very cute. Then she told him she had something from Chris Harrison, and you know he only gives the good presents. Ali said she wanted to go to the fantasy suite with Roberto because she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but I think she just wanted to see him naked. Further evidenced by the fact that when she realized his clothes were wet she very seductively removed his shirt (and mic pack) and shut the blinds. I think they were probably getting ready for a nice quiet game of Scrabble.
Chris L. - It is taking all my might to sit here and type this right now rather than run to the airport, impersonate a pilot and hijack a plane to get to Cape Cod. Could he be any better? Seriously. Except for the shot of him and Ali in swim shoes. What was that all about? I guess prioritizing un-cut feet comes above dry clothing, because Lord knows there weren't any rowboats in Tahiti. The cool factor was definitely compensated for when they found pearls in the oysters. But, did anyone else feel like they were being wasteful? Just constantly cracking them open and dropping them? Those could have been good on the half shell. I would have thought more of two New Englanders. Fast forward to their laid back dinner which I thought was awesome. You're in Tahiti, so go ahead and be laid back. Besides, all your clothes are going to get ruined by the ocean when you walk to the room anyway. And I really enjoyed Chris L looking around for Chris Harrison when Ali said he got them something. And the fact that when she pronounced the island for him, he said, "I'm reading this." They're a totally normal couple. Damn it, she definitely picked him. I'm left with all the 5 foot 6 preppy boys in Atlanta. Chris and Ali seemed like they were settling down to do a nightcap puzzle when he pulled the blinds.
Frank - So, I found it coincidental that he realized during the packing for Tahiti process that feelings were brewing inside of him. You would have thought that he could have figured that out before he busted out the suitcase. And as much of a douchebag as he is for what he did, I did feel legitimately happy for him and Nicole. Although it took them about two weeks to get through a conversation that could have taken 5 minutes, they are definitely both in the same place, and I like that. I do not however like baby talk ('I missed your kisses.') Shut up. Frank says, I'm in love with this girl and she is in love with me, and we're going to live happily ever after. That's awesome - honestly. Bad news, though, you are on a national television show where 36 hours earlier you were professing your adoration for another girl. So, Frank heads to Tahiti to blindside Ali. Poor Ali really had no freaking idea walking in. She was talking about how much she missed Frank and how much she needed this date. I really think he could have been the winner. Then the dreaded four words - We. Need. To. Talk. God bless Ali and Frank and their dramatic pauses because their break up conversation rivaled his and Nicole's get back together conversation. However, this one nearly flooded the island. Not that I blame anyone for being upset, but poor Ali couldn't get a grip. I'm halfway surprised that a producer, oh, I'm sorry, staffer, didn't come in halfway through and fix the poor girl's make-up. the flower in her hair hit the deck within 15 seconds. She eventually said good-bye to Frank and sat in the sand where Chris Harrison came to comfort her. I really felt sorry for her and for him - terrible conversation. She told him she gave up everything to be here and he said he did too. Ali said it best, "Apparently not everything, Frank." Good luck with Nicole.
So, we set a new record on Bachelorette last night. LEAST dramatic rose ceremony ever. Two roses, two guys. Ali felt it was important for both of them to accept the rose. Have we seen anyone ever decline a rose? I can't remember seeing that. Also, ABC finally found the money for some boats so that the guys didn't have to wade through the water to the rose ceremony. Must have been bonus time at the network.
Next week, the guys tell all. I'm hoping they tell about Bachelor Pad! That show looks great.
As expected, Jackie is holding on to the lead, and Melisa C is in second. If she picks Chris L, Jackie has it in the bag. If she picks Roberto, we go to a tie-breaker between Jackie and Melisa C. For the dramatic effect, and for the fact that this means Chris L is temporarily single, I am now hoping Ali picks Roberto.
Happy Tuesday!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Week 8 - Hunky Hometown Dates (well, 3 out of 4 ain't bad)
Let's get the big one out of the way first. I'm pretty sure I saw Kirk's dad on America's Most Wanted.
Ali's got four really different people - hot latino Roberto, down home laid back Chris, ridiculously quirky Kirk and 'I cry like I'm a girl' Frank.
Roberto - She said she was a little nervous about meeting his parents because he is still a mystery to her. Yeah, I agree. I know you want to jump him (and you do most times) everytime you see him, but I'm not sure how his parents were going to receive their constant making out. Luckily, Ali got all of her jumping and kissing out of the way on the baseball field (Robert was H-O-T in the baseball uniform, even though she'd love him in a potato sack, too) so they had a nice dinner with his parents. I really liked his family - loved the dancing! He's from good people. :)
Chris L - okay, I officially don't want Ali to pick him. Because I want to go to Cape Cod and find him. I adore him. I adore that he had on a hoodie on the beach. I adore that his dog can only fetch and not drop the ball. I adore that he says his dog can do tricks, but she can't even sit. But most of all, I love his family. They were so sweet and genuine. His sister-in-laws seemed like they had been a part of the family forever. Plus, Chris' advice was that if Ali got them bombed, they'd love her. And even though Chris' whale sex line was funny, it wasn't my favorite part. I was crying throughout the whole date. Poor Chris is just jealous that his brothers got to introduce their wives (or future wife) to his mom, and he won't get to. Luckily Chris had his dad telling him that she is playing a part in all of this and is looking down. Plus, he doesn't want Ali to pick him. He wants her to fall for him. I'll fall for you, Chris. And even though Chris' dad told Ali she stole his roommate, I love him, too. To finish it all off, Chris and Ali got to make-out in the tower. I think it's great that he waited for them to connect as friends before they made out like teenagers. Good for you, Chris.
Frank - Totally normal and great family. I would love to spend time with them. So does Ali. If he wasn't going to break her heart next week, she could very likely be picking him in the end. She told his parents she only kept him around because she felt bad for him. His dad said, "Us, too." If only he didn't require the constant reassurance, I could really get onboard with Frank. Oh, and because he wears Simon Cowell scoop neck tee-shirts. I shouldn't have noticed how smooth your chest was last night, Frank.
Kirk - So, as they walk into his dad's house, the first thing I thought was holy goodness, that is a lot of CRAP! Plates on the mantel, on the curtains, hunting ducks on the couch, need I go on? Oh wait, I do need to. Because one of the first thing's Kirk's dad said to Ali was, "Would you like to go see my basement?" Crickets in the living room. His wife and Kirk look terrified. Ali, being the trooper she is, says sure. However, when he asked if she wanted to go first, she let him. Good move - because you're going to an animal morgue. It was incredibly awkward. My favorite was the caribou feet that he put eyes on. But,shockingly, none of this was the worst. The worst was the freezer of dead animal parts. Yes - dead animal parts. Like you find in the freezer section at a supermarket. Except these parts, no one wants to buy. So they're in Kirk's dad's basement. Even though he did get nicer and told Ali she seems like a great gal, I'm still thinking the most normal one in the family is the 6 year old sister. Kirk's mom, sister and grandmom were better. I really enjoyed Kirk's mom's Snooki hair poof. I did feel bad for Ali kicking Kirk off, but she did the right thing.
Alright, number 1 and 2 are the same (Jackie and Melisa.) The rest of us, just give up on it.
Ali's got four really different people - hot latino Roberto, down home laid back Chris, ridiculously quirky Kirk and 'I cry like I'm a girl' Frank.
Roberto - She said she was a little nervous about meeting his parents because he is still a mystery to her. Yeah, I agree. I know you want to jump him (and you do most times) everytime you see him, but I'm not sure how his parents were going to receive their constant making out. Luckily, Ali got all of her jumping and kissing out of the way on the baseball field (Robert was H-O-T in the baseball uniform, even though she'd love him in a potato sack, too) so they had a nice dinner with his parents. I really liked his family - loved the dancing! He's from good people. :)
Chris L - okay, I officially don't want Ali to pick him. Because I want to go to Cape Cod and find him. I adore him. I adore that he had on a hoodie on the beach. I adore that his dog can only fetch and not drop the ball. I adore that he says his dog can do tricks, but she can't even sit. But most of all, I love his family. They were so sweet and genuine. His sister-in-laws seemed like they had been a part of the family forever. Plus, Chris' advice was that if Ali got them bombed, they'd love her. And even though Chris' whale sex line was funny, it wasn't my favorite part. I was crying throughout the whole date. Poor Chris is just jealous that his brothers got to introduce their wives (or future wife) to his mom, and he won't get to. Luckily Chris had his dad telling him that she is playing a part in all of this and is looking down. Plus, he doesn't want Ali to pick him. He wants her to fall for him. I'll fall for you, Chris. And even though Chris' dad told Ali she stole his roommate, I love him, too. To finish it all off, Chris and Ali got to make-out in the tower. I think it's great that he waited for them to connect as friends before they made out like teenagers. Good for you, Chris.
Frank - Totally normal and great family. I would love to spend time with them. So does Ali. If he wasn't going to break her heart next week, she could very likely be picking him in the end. She told his parents she only kept him around because she felt bad for him. His dad said, "Us, too." If only he didn't require the constant reassurance, I could really get onboard with Frank. Oh, and because he wears Simon Cowell scoop neck tee-shirts. I shouldn't have noticed how smooth your chest was last night, Frank.
Kirk - So, as they walk into his dad's house, the first thing I thought was holy goodness, that is a lot of CRAP! Plates on the mantel, on the curtains, hunting ducks on the couch, need I go on? Oh wait, I do need to. Because one of the first thing's Kirk's dad said to Ali was, "Would you like to go see my basement?" Crickets in the living room. His wife and Kirk look terrified. Ali, being the trooper she is, says sure. However, when he asked if she wanted to go first, she let him. Good move - because you're going to an animal morgue. It was incredibly awkward. My favorite was the caribou feet that he put eyes on. But,shockingly, none of this was the worst. The worst was the freezer of dead animal parts. Yes - dead animal parts. Like you find in the freezer section at a supermarket. Except these parts, no one wants to buy. So they're in Kirk's dad's basement. Even though he did get nicer and told Ali she seems like a great gal, I'm still thinking the most normal one in the family is the 6 year old sister. Kirk's mom, sister and grandmom were better. I really enjoyed Kirk's mom's Snooki hair poof. I did feel bad for Ali kicking Kirk off, but she did the right thing.
Alright, number 1 and 2 are the same (Jackie and Melisa.) The rest of us, just give up on it.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Week 7 - Playing around in Portugal
So, I think it's just me, but the episodes are getting more boring. I think that means that the people left are getting more normal. Like people who carry themselves in a way that you think someone would want to be with them for the rest of their life.
Due to the shortened episode because of the 45 minute train wreck that followed, I'm going to be brief.
Roberto - Ali feels like he is still a mystery, and, if I'm being honest, I do, too! What else do we know about him besides he likes making out, dancing and being really hot? And that once he was good at baseball? And certainly still way better than me at baseball, so I'll back off there. He's a beautiful Latino man who likes blonde girls and having bushy eyebrows.
Frank - Frankie got all ominous last night - "there's one thing I have to tell Ali.......................................and it's that I live at home with my parents." Normally, that is big information, but when you're competing with guys named Rated R, guys who get a tattoo at the drop of a hat and guys who prematurely, um, ya know, this is not that big of a bombshell. Especially in a recession. :) Lucky for him, Ali doesn't mind. I bet she would after awhile. After Frank and Ali stopped sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, things were pretty low key for Frank. Until he started freaking out that Chris L had an advantage having a date the day of the rose ceremony. Relax, Frank. Chill. Besides, you don't know this yet, but you're about to break her heart in Tahiti. I know. I saw the previews.
Ty - Our cowboy rode off into the sunset last night. I mean, thunderstorm. I can't believe they couldn't lend him an umbrella for the walk to the limo. Or one for Ali. Times are tough on set at the Bachelorette.
Chris L - Talk about a positive attitude. Chris kicked off his date saying as long as it doesn't involve oil wrestling, I'm good. Such a good guy. However, he didn't realize that he was going to be portrayed as grandma on a moped. Although, I do respect the "I don't want to be the guy that kills the Bachelorette" plan. Good strategy. I was getting a little nervous for my guy Chris last night when Ali talked about how slow they were progressing. But he rallied BIG TIME with the bracelet and waiting until last night to give it to her. Nice job, Chris L. You earned your time in the grass with Ali. Can't wait to meet your dad, either.
Kirk - I'm getting over him. Big time. Loved when he was walking in the castle and said he wasn't used to this. Hold. The. Phone. You aren't used to travelling around the world with a camera crew and having secluded tours of castles in Portugal? I did enjoy the fado music they listened to. Quite different from the music I've heard from the bar with the same name.
Jake and Vienna - dear god. I'm not justifying this relationship with more than a couple sentences. All I have to say is that I NEVER thought I'd be on Vienna's side. But I am. Jake seemed like he was lying last night. Go Team (oh goodness) Vienna.
Jackie is still in first and Melisa is nipping at her heels only 9 points behind. Hopefully we'll have to use that tie breaker!
Hope everyone had an awesome holiday weekend, and I will catch all of you next week!
Due to the shortened episode because of the 45 minute train wreck that followed, I'm going to be brief.
Roberto - Ali feels like he is still a mystery, and, if I'm being honest, I do, too! What else do we know about him besides he likes making out, dancing and being really hot? And that once he was good at baseball? And certainly still way better than me at baseball, so I'll back off there. He's a beautiful Latino man who likes blonde girls and having bushy eyebrows.
Frank - Frankie got all ominous last night - "there's one thing I have to tell Ali.......................................and it's that I live at home with my parents." Normally, that is big information, but when you're competing with guys named Rated R, guys who get a tattoo at the drop of a hat and guys who prematurely, um, ya know, this is not that big of a bombshell. Especially in a recession. :) Lucky for him, Ali doesn't mind. I bet she would after awhile. After Frank and Ali stopped sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, things were pretty low key for Frank. Until he started freaking out that Chris L had an advantage having a date the day of the rose ceremony. Relax, Frank. Chill. Besides, you don't know this yet, but you're about to break her heart in Tahiti. I know. I saw the previews.
Ty - Our cowboy rode off into the sunset last night. I mean, thunderstorm. I can't believe they couldn't lend him an umbrella for the walk to the limo. Or one for Ali. Times are tough on set at the Bachelorette.
Chris L - Talk about a positive attitude. Chris kicked off his date saying as long as it doesn't involve oil wrestling, I'm good. Such a good guy. However, he didn't realize that he was going to be portrayed as grandma on a moped. Although, I do respect the "I don't want to be the guy that kills the Bachelorette" plan. Good strategy. I was getting a little nervous for my guy Chris last night when Ali talked about how slow they were progressing. But he rallied BIG TIME with the bracelet and waiting until last night to give it to her. Nice job, Chris L. You earned your time in the grass with Ali. Can't wait to meet your dad, either.
Kirk - I'm getting over him. Big time. Loved when he was walking in the castle and said he wasn't used to this. Hold. The. Phone. You aren't used to travelling around the world with a camera crew and having secluded tours of castles in Portugal? I did enjoy the fado music they listened to. Quite different from the music I've heard from the bar with the same name.
Jake and Vienna - dear god. I'm not justifying this relationship with more than a couple sentences. All I have to say is that I NEVER thought I'd be on Vienna's side. But I am. Jake seemed like he was lying last night. Go Team (oh goodness) Vienna.
Jackie is still in first and Melisa is nipping at her heels only 9 points behind. Hopefully we'll have to use that tie breaker!
Hope everyone had an awesome holiday weekend, and I will catch all of you next week!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Week 6 - Tantalizing Turkey
So, first things first. ABC screwed us up. Well, I guess they didn't know to plan around me, but they should have. They have an extra week in the schedule. Don't worry, I've come up with a solution. So, all of us picked 6 people for last week. Ali picked 7 guys last week. This week she picked 5. So, we're all using the same pool of six people for last week and this week. I really enjoyed changing the spreadsheet around. I probably need to get a life.
Last night began ominously. I mean, when Chris Harrison is at your door, it's never a good thing. Ali had her heart broken (well, she didn't seem sad as much as mad) by one of the guys' girlfriends! (Shocking, I know.) Apparently, one of the guys this season only came onto the show to promote his career. Guesses? Anyone? Not the retail mananger. Not the landscaper. Wait for big surprise number 2, it's the wrestler. I am shocked and appalled that he was not there for reasons of the heart. And apparently he's dating Lacey Chabert. Did anyone else notice the resemblance that she had towards little Claudia Salinger? And Ali referenced later that she was bawling her eyes out - was she having a conversation with the same girl that we saw? The one who let her boyfriend sell her out to go on tv and then who she, in turn, sold out by saving his voicemails and giving them to ABC? This is a fantastic couple - gives screwing each other a new meaning. Regardless, Rated R tried as hard as he could to leave the hotel, but he apparently got caught in a labyrinth. Seriously. There was not an exit. He went through shrubbery, up fountains, tried to get in doors (waiter stopped him) before he finally gave up and came back to Ali. As Chris L said, who does that? I wonder if ABC had Turkish police barricading the place. Big Bad wrestler even had to tell Ali not to touch him. Yeah, I'm sure she was going to put the smack down on you. Either way, Justin's gone. And his famous last words to the other guys - F You. Straight up. Now that's a class act. Moral of the story? If you're trying to dupe a national television show, don't leave voicemails saying so.
Craig R - he broke my heart last night. I know some of you thought he was sappy, but I thought he was sweet. And hilarious. When Justin got called out, Craig's two cents were that it's a long way from Turkey to Canada and he hopes he has to swim with a broken leg. And Craig had some of his funniest moments at the olive oil wrestling match. That's right - Olive Oil Wrestling. I wonder if Swinging Richards knows about this? I'm sure all the guys were glad that the wrestler went home before they wrestled. Anyway, Craig was highly motivated to win the wrestling competition to get some one on one time with Ali. Even though he's used to fighting with words. Well, our boy Craig won. I was so happy for him I clapped. Yup, clapped. In the living room. With other people. Only one clapping. Moving on. Craig and Ali had some good one on one time, but she wasn't trying to jump him like she does to Roberto. However, there was a very serious moment over dinner when Craig asked Ali what she thought about him changing his career. And pursuing Turkish Olive Oil wrestling. See, he's funny!?!?!? Not funny enough to stay - Ali sent him packing. Sorry, Craig!
Kirk - Kirk was pretty dull this week. No comments, no weird "I'm dying" stories. I kind of wish he was going home. As Melisa Cook pointed out, he does look like he could be Vienna's brother though. I think that is quite interesting and totally on the money. I'm over Kirk. Ready for him to peace out.
Ty - Oh, Ty. Perhaps where you're from people wear black dress socks with athletic shorts, but not on national television. Best to invest in the Hanes 6 pack and save yourself some grief. On his one on one with Ali, he strutted down the street in his elf pointed cowboy boots with his piece of flair tied around his neck. Disappointingly, he also appeared to forget to rub in the sunscreen he put on before going into the Turkish bath. The sun is quite powerful through all those tiny holes in the ceiling. But, topping the black socks and sunscreen was his tartan skirt. He shuffled with Ali in his plaid skirt (can't believe there was more plaid) until they got to their spot. Probably once there he realized that he would have a hard time explaining this outfit to the cowboy dudes back home. But amazingly, none of these things made him look the dumbest last night. Nope, he did that when he told Ali he divorced his wife because she wanted to work and he wanted her to stay home. Now, I get that he might not have watched Jake's season. But, I'm willing to bet they all googled Ali once they found out she was the Bachelorette. And hopefully found out that she left the show last season for her job. her JOB. I can't believe she didn't kick him off then and there. I still don't think he recovered from that foot in mouth. (and if his ears are any indication of foot size, that's a mouthful)
Chris L. - nothing too great last night. He's still handsome. Still my favorite. Still funny to me. What did you do in Turkey? I took my shirt off and wrestled with Turkish men. I'm a little nervous that Chris L wasn't in any of the previews last night, but I'm not losing faith yet. I think ABC has a trick up their sleeve. Like everyone goes to Tahiti or something. He just has to be in the final two and win. He just has to!
Roberto - (as Krysta said) "and now playing the part of Frank......." Roberto is getting a little crazy. Little psycho. Starting to have Frank disease that he forgets Ali is dating other men. You're still really hot, but you're not adding anything in the personality department. It's a good thing I like dark hair and dark complexions - I still like you. For now.
Frank - While he may be getting creepy, he was pretty funny last night. With the pistachio aphrodisiac (pistachio ice cream, pistachio fudge, pistachio chocolate) - "is there anything with pistachio in it?" And the rug. I love him. Said the rug salesman was like a bad used car salesman. Unlucky for him, I'm not buying a rug today. There's no way I'm buying a carpet right now. It's just not happening. Cut to Ali and Frank walking out carrying a rug. For the rest of the night. Sucker. He said he had the girl of his dreams on his arms. And a Turkish rug on the other shoulder. Does life get better?
Last night concluded, as usual, with the rose ceremony. However, I'm pretty sure the camera guys filmed Ali looking at the photos after she rejected Craig. Because poor Craig's picture was barely on the table!
So, Jackie is still in the lead, and Melisa Cook is in 2nd. I think eventually I really am going to take a cut of the pool just to feel compensated because I SUCK at picking this.
Can't wait for next week!
Last night began ominously. I mean, when Chris Harrison is at your door, it's never a good thing. Ali had her heart broken (well, she didn't seem sad as much as mad) by one of the guys' girlfriends! (Shocking, I know.) Apparently, one of the guys this season only came onto the show to promote his career. Guesses? Anyone? Not the retail mananger. Not the landscaper. Wait for big surprise number 2, it's the wrestler. I am shocked and appalled that he was not there for reasons of the heart. And apparently he's dating Lacey Chabert. Did anyone else notice the resemblance that she had towards little Claudia Salinger? And Ali referenced later that she was bawling her eyes out - was she having a conversation with the same girl that we saw? The one who let her boyfriend sell her out to go on tv and then who she, in turn, sold out by saving his voicemails and giving them to ABC? This is a fantastic couple - gives screwing each other a new meaning. Regardless, Rated R tried as hard as he could to leave the hotel, but he apparently got caught in a labyrinth. Seriously. There was not an exit. He went through shrubbery, up fountains, tried to get in doors (waiter stopped him) before he finally gave up and came back to Ali. As Chris L said, who does that? I wonder if ABC had Turkish police barricading the place. Big Bad wrestler even had to tell Ali not to touch him. Yeah, I'm sure she was going to put the smack down on you. Either way, Justin's gone. And his famous last words to the other guys - F You. Straight up. Now that's a class act. Moral of the story? If you're trying to dupe a national television show, don't leave voicemails saying so.
Craig R - he broke my heart last night. I know some of you thought he was sappy, but I thought he was sweet. And hilarious. When Justin got called out, Craig's two cents were that it's a long way from Turkey to Canada and he hopes he has to swim with a broken leg. And Craig had some of his funniest moments at the olive oil wrestling match. That's right - Olive Oil Wrestling. I wonder if Swinging Richards knows about this? I'm sure all the guys were glad that the wrestler went home before they wrestled. Anyway, Craig was highly motivated to win the wrestling competition to get some one on one time with Ali. Even though he's used to fighting with words. Well, our boy Craig won. I was so happy for him I clapped. Yup, clapped. In the living room. With other people. Only one clapping. Moving on. Craig and Ali had some good one on one time, but she wasn't trying to jump him like she does to Roberto. However, there was a very serious moment over dinner when Craig asked Ali what she thought about him changing his career. And pursuing Turkish Olive Oil wrestling. See, he's funny!?!?!? Not funny enough to stay - Ali sent him packing. Sorry, Craig!
Kirk - Kirk was pretty dull this week. No comments, no weird "I'm dying" stories. I kind of wish he was going home. As Melisa Cook pointed out, he does look like he could be Vienna's brother though. I think that is quite interesting and totally on the money. I'm over Kirk. Ready for him to peace out.
Ty - Oh, Ty. Perhaps where you're from people wear black dress socks with athletic shorts, but not on national television. Best to invest in the Hanes 6 pack and save yourself some grief. On his one on one with Ali, he strutted down the street in his elf pointed cowboy boots with his piece of flair tied around his neck. Disappointingly, he also appeared to forget to rub in the sunscreen he put on before going into the Turkish bath. The sun is quite powerful through all those tiny holes in the ceiling. But, topping the black socks and sunscreen was his tartan skirt. He shuffled with Ali in his plaid skirt (can't believe there was more plaid) until they got to their spot. Probably once there he realized that he would have a hard time explaining this outfit to the cowboy dudes back home. But amazingly, none of these things made him look the dumbest last night. Nope, he did that when he told Ali he divorced his wife because she wanted to work and he wanted her to stay home. Now, I get that he might not have watched Jake's season. But, I'm willing to bet they all googled Ali once they found out she was the Bachelorette. And hopefully found out that she left the show last season for her job. her JOB. I can't believe she didn't kick him off then and there. I still don't think he recovered from that foot in mouth. (and if his ears are any indication of foot size, that's a mouthful)
Chris L. - nothing too great last night. He's still handsome. Still my favorite. Still funny to me. What did you do in Turkey? I took my shirt off and wrestled with Turkish men. I'm a little nervous that Chris L wasn't in any of the previews last night, but I'm not losing faith yet. I think ABC has a trick up their sleeve. Like everyone goes to Tahiti or something. He just has to be in the final two and win. He just has to!
Roberto - (as Krysta said) "and now playing the part of Frank......." Roberto is getting a little crazy. Little psycho. Starting to have Frank disease that he forgets Ali is dating other men. You're still really hot, but you're not adding anything in the personality department. It's a good thing I like dark hair and dark complexions - I still like you. For now.
Frank - While he may be getting creepy, he was pretty funny last night. With the pistachio aphrodisiac (pistachio ice cream, pistachio fudge, pistachio chocolate) - "is there anything with pistachio in it?" And the rug. I love him. Said the rug salesman was like a bad used car salesman. Unlucky for him, I'm not buying a rug today. There's no way I'm buying a carpet right now. It's just not happening. Cut to Ali and Frank walking out carrying a rug. For the rest of the night. Sucker. He said he had the girl of his dreams on his arms. And a Turkish rug on the other shoulder. Does life get better?
Last night concluded, as usual, with the rose ceremony. However, I'm pretty sure the camera guys filmed Ali looking at the photos after she rejected Craig. Because poor Craig's picture was barely on the table!
So, Jackie is still in the lead, and Melisa Cook is in 2nd. I think eventually I really am going to take a cut of the pool just to feel compensated because I SUCK at picking this.
Can't wait for next week!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Week 5 - Iceland Intrigue
Greetings from Maine! Yes, I'm on vacation this week, taking a break from my full-time job.
But, I'm definitely still on the clock for my part time job as pool commissioner. You didn't think I'd let you down, did you? So, I'll stop looking at the ocean, rocking in the rocking chair and drinking my tea to send you people a recap. However, I'm not sure there's much to recap. Last night's episode was kind of a snoozer. Now, I'm not sure if it really was that boring or it just seems that way relative to last week's over the topness.
To make sure we felt the warmth and gooeyness of the bachelorette while in chilly Iceland, Chris Harrison had everyone write a love poem to Ali. And, he challenged them to throw in an Icelandic word if possible. How about Bjork?
Now, the best part of this project was that we got to hear Chris N. speak. For the first time. In 5 weeks of the show! He has a very normal voice, good pace and no weird accents. Had he spoken sooner, he would have been above Ty and Kasey for sure on this note. Although, for many people, he already was a frontrunner ahead of them. Disappointingly, when he went to recite his poem to Ali, he froze. Literally. No words were coming out of his mouth. Perhaps if he had spoken more frequently up until this point he would have remembered how. Open mouth, let air out and move lips. That's it! The tip Ali gave Kasey (just be normal) should have also been given to Chris N. apparently. One of my favorites was when Ali asked him to tell her something she didn't know about him, and he said an ex-girlfriend would say he's funny. So, she asked for a funny story. He said "I like Mexican food." Can't hold a conversation, can't get a rose. See ya!
Even Frank saw Chris' future for him. After the horrible poetry reading experience, he predicted that Chris N and Ali might do brunch once a year to catch up. Right on the money, Frank. So, Frank's still getting a little frustrated accepting Ali is dating other guys, and he was trying to find out how to say I love you in Icelandic. Thankfully, he didn't. Pretty sure the first time you tell a girl you love her shouldn't be in front of the 8 guys you're competing with for her affection and Chris Harrison. Frank's insecurity definitely came out on the miniature horse riding trip. He kept hanging back and commenting that Ty should be tying lassos or something. Ali told him that she didn't like how he kept hanging back in the group setting, so he finally manned up and pulled her aside for one on one time later. Frank is making a comeback for sure. He'll be around for awhile.
Kirk - he and Frank were the only ones who learned from the Lion King experience to walk up to Ali during the challenges and connect with her. So, he got the one on one date! I'm sure he was psyched thinking about what they would do. Past one on one dates included tightrope walking, hanging out at the Hollywood sign, private concerts on NY rooftops.......the possibilities are endless. What did he and Ali do? Shop for sweaters. Seriously. Matching sweaters. Poor Kirk. However, they were in practically matching flannel shirts before they got on their exactly matching wool sweaters. Too many flannel shirt sightings to count this week. Apparently, flannel is back. In a big way. I can't count anymore. And, the poor sap thought it would be good to wear his sweater to the rose ceremony to be sentimental for Ali. I hope Ali appreciated it, because this viewer in the US did not.
Ty was great during the horseback riding, but he wasn't very funny or weird last night. Nothing to add here.
Kasey - oh my dear, Kasey. I think we may need to introduce you to Michelle from last season. You are someone who lives in your own little delusional world, but at least you're happy. So, Kasey thought Iceland would be a great place to show Ali the tattoo. "If I have one on one time, I'll be able to see her heart, and she'll be able to see mine." ON YOUR WRIST!!!! Well, after Kermit disease took over during the poetry reading, he lost his chance for the one on one date. Even though he thought he had a chance. Here are some of the things Kasey said last night: "I'm Kasey, I'm a dreamer, I'm a believer. I love to love. I love to give. I love to share." If I'm not here for love, I don't know what I'm here for." "I got this tattoo to be someone.......to be a man.....to be a man for Ali." Well, when Ali saw the tattoo, it did not go well. She looked scared sh*&less. Very thankful that there were cameramen around. Now, I will say that leaving Kasey on the iceberg did seem just a tad harsh. Oh, I'm sorry - on an iceberg with an erupting volcano. I don't like him either, but I would have at least left him where he could arrange his own transportation home. Or walk. Or not get burned by lava.
Craig R - may have done the funniest thing of the season last night. Not when he spoke in Icelandic during the poem and then fessed up the next line that he totally made this up. Not when he said he loves group dates because he's getting really good at them. Not the image of him riding on the dog horse that had his feet a foot off the ground. All he needed was a magic marker, a little bit of acting and some creativity. When he sat down with Ali, looked lovingly into her eyes and said, "I have something I need to show you." Then he slowly rolled up his sleeve to reveal a magic marker tattoo of a shield and a heart. Ali loved it! Kudos to you, Craig R. Well played.
Roberto - dude, just put him in the final two. He makes her so giddy! She admitted she wouldn't have come up to him in a bar because she thinks he's too hot. Nothing bad to say about Roberto, he's so normal. and so hot. And he talked about taking his clothes off. Now, granted, it was in the context of after seeing Ali in a bikini in the middle of the snow that he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough. Final two for sure.
Chris L - as much as I love Roberto, my favorite is still Chris L. He's hot, he's funny, he's normal - I love that being normal on this show puts you in first place. Now, horseback riding skills are not that important to me which is good because Chris fell off his horse and Ty had to come to his rescue. He was definitely a little jealous of Ty b/c he felt the need to say that Ty must have been born on a horse. However, I was definitely on his wavelength when he said "first horseback riding, then into a cave, what's next? Play with snakes?" He toughened up and went down into the cave first to have a little alone time with Ali - very smart. Then he gave her his gloves because they were warmer. So sweet. Then at the rose ceremony, he said he can't wait for her to meet his dad - don't worry, Chris L, she will. First on the hometown dates, then at the wedding. Team Chris L. all the way!!!!
Justin - get the f off the show. I hate you. You are a goober, I hate your soul patch, and I want you to go home. I don't know why he took off his cast in Iceland. Was it time? Is his foot healed? Was it all a sham? Some say yes, and up until now I said no, but now I'm not sure. Although, it probably made navigating the iceberg a little easier. Loved that he said when he was looking at the volcano, another volcano was brewing inside. DOUCHEBAG!!! And that he got two roses, one for Justin and one for Rated R. GO HOME!!!
I think Chris Harrison summed it up best. It's been quite a week, volcanoes, glaciers and matching sweaters. Good-bye Iceland!
So, the Bachelorette is trying to play mind games with us. For the first time I can remember, they went from 9 people to 7 people (not 6 people.) Let's hope it doesn't jack up our pool too much moving forward. Jackie is still holding onto first place with a strong lead. Sam has jumped into 2nd place, and Melisa Cook and Lucy are tied for 3rd. Nice job, ladies!
So, the Bachelor pad. I've been brainstorming, and I think I've got some ideas on how to kick it off. Don't worry, we'll be doing something fun, but I think it will be a little different. And the Bachelor Wii game - seriously gone too far. If you ever play it, please don't tell me. I'll judge you. :) Can't wait for next week!
But, I'm definitely still on the clock for my part time job as pool commissioner. You didn't think I'd let you down, did you? So, I'll stop looking at the ocean, rocking in the rocking chair and drinking my tea to send you people a recap. However, I'm not sure there's much to recap. Last night's episode was kind of a snoozer. Now, I'm not sure if it really was that boring or it just seems that way relative to last week's over the topness.
To make sure we felt the warmth and gooeyness of the bachelorette while in chilly Iceland, Chris Harrison had everyone write a love poem to Ali. And, he challenged them to throw in an Icelandic word if possible. How about Bjork?
Now, the best part of this project was that we got to hear Chris N. speak. For the first time. In 5 weeks of the show! He has a very normal voice, good pace and no weird accents. Had he spoken sooner, he would have been above Ty and Kasey for sure on this note. Although, for many people, he already was a frontrunner ahead of them. Disappointingly, when he went to recite his poem to Ali, he froze. Literally. No words were coming out of his mouth. Perhaps if he had spoken more frequently up until this point he would have remembered how. Open mouth, let air out and move lips. That's it! The tip Ali gave Kasey (just be normal) should have also been given to Chris N. apparently. One of my favorites was when Ali asked him to tell her something she didn't know about him, and he said an ex-girlfriend would say he's funny. So, she asked for a funny story. He said "I like Mexican food." Can't hold a conversation, can't get a rose. See ya!
Even Frank saw Chris' future for him. After the horrible poetry reading experience, he predicted that Chris N and Ali might do brunch once a year to catch up. Right on the money, Frank. So, Frank's still getting a little frustrated accepting Ali is dating other guys, and he was trying to find out how to say I love you in Icelandic. Thankfully, he didn't. Pretty sure the first time you tell a girl you love her shouldn't be in front of the 8 guys you're competing with for her affection and Chris Harrison. Frank's insecurity definitely came out on the miniature horse riding trip. He kept hanging back and commenting that Ty should be tying lassos or something. Ali told him that she didn't like how he kept hanging back in the group setting, so he finally manned up and pulled her aside for one on one time later. Frank is making a comeback for sure. He'll be around for awhile.
Kirk - he and Frank were the only ones who learned from the Lion King experience to walk up to Ali during the challenges and connect with her. So, he got the one on one date! I'm sure he was psyched thinking about what they would do. Past one on one dates included tightrope walking, hanging out at the Hollywood sign, private concerts on NY rooftops.......the possibilities are endless. What did he and Ali do? Shop for sweaters. Seriously. Matching sweaters. Poor Kirk. However, they were in practically matching flannel shirts before they got on their exactly matching wool sweaters. Too many flannel shirt sightings to count this week. Apparently, flannel is back. In a big way. I can't count anymore. And, the poor sap thought it would be good to wear his sweater to the rose ceremony to be sentimental for Ali. I hope Ali appreciated it, because this viewer in the US did not.
Ty was great during the horseback riding, but he wasn't very funny or weird last night. Nothing to add here.
Kasey - oh my dear, Kasey. I think we may need to introduce you to Michelle from last season. You are someone who lives in your own little delusional world, but at least you're happy. So, Kasey thought Iceland would be a great place to show Ali the tattoo. "If I have one on one time, I'll be able to see her heart, and she'll be able to see mine." ON YOUR WRIST!!!! Well, after Kermit disease took over during the poetry reading, he lost his chance for the one on one date. Even though he thought he had a chance. Here are some of the things Kasey said last night: "I'm Kasey, I'm a dreamer, I'm a believer. I love to love. I love to give. I love to share." If I'm not here for love, I don't know what I'm here for." "I got this tattoo to be someone.......to be a man.....to be a man for Ali." Well, when Ali saw the tattoo, it did not go well. She looked scared sh*&less. Very thankful that there were cameramen around. Now, I will say that leaving Kasey on the iceberg did seem just a tad harsh. Oh, I'm sorry - on an iceberg with an erupting volcano. I don't like him either, but I would have at least left him where he could arrange his own transportation home. Or walk. Or not get burned by lava.
Craig R - may have done the funniest thing of the season last night. Not when he spoke in Icelandic during the poem and then fessed up the next line that he totally made this up. Not when he said he loves group dates because he's getting really good at them. Not the image of him riding on the dog horse that had his feet a foot off the ground. All he needed was a magic marker, a little bit of acting and some creativity. When he sat down with Ali, looked lovingly into her eyes and said, "I have something I need to show you." Then he slowly rolled up his sleeve to reveal a magic marker tattoo of a shield and a heart. Ali loved it! Kudos to you, Craig R. Well played.
Roberto - dude, just put him in the final two. He makes her so giddy! She admitted she wouldn't have come up to him in a bar because she thinks he's too hot. Nothing bad to say about Roberto, he's so normal. and so hot. And he talked about taking his clothes off. Now, granted, it was in the context of after seeing Ali in a bikini in the middle of the snow that he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough. Final two for sure.
Chris L - as much as I love Roberto, my favorite is still Chris L. He's hot, he's funny, he's normal - I love that being normal on this show puts you in first place. Now, horseback riding skills are not that important to me which is good because Chris fell off his horse and Ty had to come to his rescue. He was definitely a little jealous of Ty b/c he felt the need to say that Ty must have been born on a horse. However, I was definitely on his wavelength when he said "first horseback riding, then into a cave, what's next? Play with snakes?" He toughened up and went down into the cave first to have a little alone time with Ali - very smart. Then he gave her his gloves because they were warmer. So sweet. Then at the rose ceremony, he said he can't wait for her to meet his dad - don't worry, Chris L, she will. First on the hometown dates, then at the wedding. Team Chris L. all the way!!!!
Justin - get the f off the show. I hate you. You are a goober, I hate your soul patch, and I want you to go home. I don't know why he took off his cast in Iceland. Was it time? Is his foot healed? Was it all a sham? Some say yes, and up until now I said no, but now I'm not sure. Although, it probably made navigating the iceberg a little easier. Loved that he said when he was looking at the volcano, another volcano was brewing inside. DOUCHEBAG!!! And that he got two roses, one for Justin and one for Rated R. GO HOME!!!
I think Chris Harrison summed it up best. It's been quite a week, volcanoes, glaciers and matching sweaters. Good-bye Iceland!
So, the Bachelorette is trying to play mind games with us. For the first time I can remember, they went from 9 people to 7 people (not 6 people.) Let's hope it doesn't jack up our pool too much moving forward. Jackie is still holding onto first place with a strong lead. Sam has jumped into 2nd place, and Melisa Cook and Lucy are tied for 3rd. Nice job, ladies!
So, the Bachelor pad. I've been brainstorming, and I think I've got some ideas on how to kick it off. Don't worry, we'll be doing something fun, but I think it will be a little different. And the Bachelor Wii game - seriously gone too far. If you ever play it, please don't tell me. I'll judge you. :) Can't wait for next week!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Week 4 - A Musical of Love
So, I'm not sure if you guys were as confused as me. I swear I was watching the Bachelorette, but it kind of felt like watching an episode of Glee must (haven't done it yet, but I feel like it's accurate.) We had singing, dancing and high school maturity. We had some one on one time with Ali and the camera last night for InStyle. What the F was that? However, it did give us flannel shirt sighting number 4 on the hairdresser. Soon followed by flannel shirt number 5 on Kasey and 6 on Frank. Moving on.......
Chris N. - Okay, I'm done being funny. Seriously, who is this guy? I can honestly say I don't even know what his voice sounds like. Maybe that's his strategy. Don't act like a tool (which most of the guys are), and you'll make it to the end!
Kasey - I hate to start with him, but I have to. I take notes when I watch the show (it's a lot of pressure to try to be funny for you ladies the next day.) Everytime I make a comment on a guy, I go to a new column in excel. I got to column S with Kasey. COLUMN S!!!! Quote of the evening (and there were a lot to choose from) - "It's just my heart. Jump in. Stay awhile." Closely followed by "I'm here to guard and protect your heart." Kermit Kasey has got to relax. As Chris L. aptly pointed out, there are a lot of singing boys on the show. Kasey should NOT have been one of them. I was so impressed by Ali's ability to keep somewhat of a straight face while he sang the first song. Yes, first. because there were two. Why were there two? Kasey tells us. "It just kind of came to me. Because that's what you do. Inspire me." Shockingly, Ali kept him around. However, she gave him coaching. Pretty much to chill out. And I don't know about you guys, but nothing says chilling out like getting a tattoo for the person asking you to chill out. More quotes, I know, but they're so good. "I wear my emotions in my heart and literally on my sleeve." I couldn't have said it better. Luckily for Kasey, Frank was still here. Because the only reason Kasey is making it to next week is because Frank interrupted the tat unveiling. Next week Ali has put it best - "the only thing Kasey has to do is be normal." Best of luck, Kasey.......best of luck. For all those who want to spread the inspiration, please find the lyrics for Kasey's songs below.
Chris L. - I couldn't love him more. Not only was he a trooper about Ali being sick - he brought flowers and chicken noodle soup! He was so sweet and patient with her, and she rewarded him with a rooftop serenade and a dance. And a first kiss that rivaled her and Roberto's - NYC at night, live music and a gospel choir. Maybe the gospel choir could have gone. Chris L. is also the best at summarizing the guys. While Kasey thinks of Ali with doves and rainbows and her running towards him in a meadow, Chris L doesn't see her that way. Not unicorn love. Team Chris L all the way.
Frank - Frank is still seeming to have trouble recognizing that he's on a show with other guys dating the same girl. Perhaps he suffers from short term memory loss. Because each week he laments about watching her with other guys.......same situation as last week! and as before you signed up for the show! He did have some cute one on one time with Ali in the rain, but then again he also brought a sick girl out into a cold rainstorm. He's definitely sane in some capacity, though, because he sees Kasey. "I'm going to guard and protect your heart. He got a tattoo. That doesn't prove anything except you're crazy. You're going to be the tattooed bachelorette guy for the rest of your life."
Jonathan - Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan. You're very lucky Kasey is so deeply disturbed because otherwise you would be the craziest. In the beginning of the Lion King date, he said the forecast looks good. However, the winds must have changed because "the forecast is for sunny skies and out of the blue, this storm crapped in my face." Now, he was talking about Roberto. But, I thought there was the chance he was nervous about the spandex again. Because he doesn't have a big.....ya know. He equated the Lion King experience to having a beehive of knives in your face. what? Jonathan tried to make up for his lack of one on one time by interrupting Craig R. and Ali. Not only was it awkward, it was unsuccessful. I think this is the first time in the history of the show that someone tried to break up a conversation and lost. Good girl Ali, don't let crazy Jonathan win. Even the soundtrack thinks Jonathan is crazy. Everytime he's on the screen, crazy music plays. I promise. But, I think he put the final nail in his coffin with the song. Another guy with a guitar - right on, Chris L. And another guy who doesn't have the gift of tone. Ironically, Jonathan thought this would be his saving grace, "Now that I've sang a song, I'd be surprised if I didn't get a rose. Looks like the skies are clearing." Wrong. Better quit your day job.
Jesse - This shocked me. He did a great job dancing the reverse running man and thrusting, clearly had the best voice of all of them and didn't do anything douchebaggish. But, Ali send him home. I'm not a huge Jesse fan, but the fact that he doesn't suck should have kept him around longer that for sure Kasey. Sorry, Jesse.
Roberto - My loyalty is with Chris L., but I got chills when the director picked Roberto. When he sang the song to Ali (with his not so hot voice) the paper in his hands was literally shaking. It was so sweet and vulnerable. Plus, it takes a strong man to rock a neon colored tarzan wrap, and he pulled it off. Plus, since MLB didn't pan out, maybe meteorology is his thing. He's more accurate than Jonathan - "forecast for the weatherman once again, you've got a high pressures system moving in and you've got to step it up." Can't wait to see more of Roberto. And his bare chest.
Kirk - Watching Roberto and Ali, he kept clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. I'm sorry, Kirk....is this uncomfortable for you watch? Maybe he put his head in her cleavage (actually a little bit lower) when they were up with the wires, but at least he and Ali weren't so intense that they cleared the room! Who was that again? Oh yeah, YOU! And while his 'let me walk you to your room' line was a total player thing, it worked. And he nailed that "all we need is one more guy in the house with a guitar." I do like Kirk.....but not if he sings.
Justin - Ahhhh, crazy number 3. Honest Abe over here kept calling Kasey a fibber. So glad you're not a hypocrite Mr. I'd Never Walk to Ali's House. I'm just over Justin. He's a liar, he's immature, and he's a pro wrestler. I can't wait for him to get kicked off. Okay, for the third week in a row, Jackei is leading the group. This is uncanny and very reminiscent of last season.
Jackie, you may not be able to join the next one if you win your second in a row because it's just not as fun for the rest of us! I know I'm only jealous of your picking skills, but this is incredible!
Krysta, Krista and Sam are in 2nd and 3rd place with only a point separating them. Good luck, ladies!
Song 1
When I was flying in the helicopter over this amazing city,
I looked to my left and never saw something so pretty.
(Ali's nervous laughter)
At the end of tonight, I'm not just your average joe,
but I hope, in my hindsight, I'll see and find a rose. (seagull calling)
Song 2
On the night that I first saw you I was stepping through black glass,
and I knew at that first moment that you and I would last.
On the beach in california you made me start to believe,
and now in New York City and it's just you and me.
And tonight you've got a rose and I don't want to feel its thorns,
and if you choose me, Ali, I'll forever be your's.
Quality stuff, Kasey.
Quality.
Chris N. - Okay, I'm done being funny. Seriously, who is this guy? I can honestly say I don't even know what his voice sounds like. Maybe that's his strategy. Don't act like a tool (which most of the guys are), and you'll make it to the end!
Kasey - I hate to start with him, but I have to. I take notes when I watch the show (it's a lot of pressure to try to be funny for you ladies the next day.) Everytime I make a comment on a guy, I go to a new column in excel. I got to column S with Kasey. COLUMN S!!!! Quote of the evening (and there were a lot to choose from) - "It's just my heart. Jump in. Stay awhile." Closely followed by "I'm here to guard and protect your heart." Kermit Kasey has got to relax. As Chris L. aptly pointed out, there are a lot of singing boys on the show. Kasey should NOT have been one of them. I was so impressed by Ali's ability to keep somewhat of a straight face while he sang the first song. Yes, first. because there were two. Why were there two? Kasey tells us. "It just kind of came to me. Because that's what you do. Inspire me." Shockingly, Ali kept him around. However, she gave him coaching. Pretty much to chill out. And I don't know about you guys, but nothing says chilling out like getting a tattoo for the person asking you to chill out. More quotes, I know, but they're so good. "I wear my emotions in my heart and literally on my sleeve." I couldn't have said it better. Luckily for Kasey, Frank was still here. Because the only reason Kasey is making it to next week is because Frank interrupted the tat unveiling. Next week Ali has put it best - "the only thing Kasey has to do is be normal." Best of luck, Kasey.......best of luck. For all those who want to spread the inspiration, please find the lyrics for Kasey's songs below.
Chris L. - I couldn't love him more. Not only was he a trooper about Ali being sick - he brought flowers and chicken noodle soup! He was so sweet and patient with her, and she rewarded him with a rooftop serenade and a dance. And a first kiss that rivaled her and Roberto's - NYC at night, live music and a gospel choir. Maybe the gospel choir could have gone. Chris L. is also the best at summarizing the guys. While Kasey thinks of Ali with doves and rainbows and her running towards him in a meadow, Chris L doesn't see her that way. Not unicorn love. Team Chris L all the way.
Frank - Frank is still seeming to have trouble recognizing that he's on a show with other guys dating the same girl. Perhaps he suffers from short term memory loss. Because each week he laments about watching her with other guys.......same situation as last week! and as before you signed up for the show! He did have some cute one on one time with Ali in the rain, but then again he also brought a sick girl out into a cold rainstorm. He's definitely sane in some capacity, though, because he sees Kasey. "I'm going to guard and protect your heart. He got a tattoo. That doesn't prove anything except you're crazy. You're going to be the tattooed bachelorette guy for the rest of your life."
Jonathan - Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan. You're very lucky Kasey is so deeply disturbed because otherwise you would be the craziest. In the beginning of the Lion King date, he said the forecast looks good. However, the winds must have changed because "the forecast is for sunny skies and out of the blue, this storm crapped in my face." Now, he was talking about Roberto. But, I thought there was the chance he was nervous about the spandex again. Because he doesn't have a big.....ya know. He equated the Lion King experience to having a beehive of knives in your face. what? Jonathan tried to make up for his lack of one on one time by interrupting Craig R. and Ali. Not only was it awkward, it was unsuccessful. I think this is the first time in the history of the show that someone tried to break up a conversation and lost. Good girl Ali, don't let crazy Jonathan win. Even the soundtrack thinks Jonathan is crazy. Everytime he's on the screen, crazy music plays. I promise. But, I think he put the final nail in his coffin with the song. Another guy with a guitar - right on, Chris L. And another guy who doesn't have the gift of tone. Ironically, Jonathan thought this would be his saving grace, "Now that I've sang a song, I'd be surprised if I didn't get a rose. Looks like the skies are clearing." Wrong. Better quit your day job.
Jesse - This shocked me. He did a great job dancing the reverse running man and thrusting, clearly had the best voice of all of them and didn't do anything douchebaggish. But, Ali send him home. I'm not a huge Jesse fan, but the fact that he doesn't suck should have kept him around longer that for sure Kasey. Sorry, Jesse.
Roberto - My loyalty is with Chris L., but I got chills when the director picked Roberto. When he sang the song to Ali (with his not so hot voice) the paper in his hands was literally shaking. It was so sweet and vulnerable. Plus, it takes a strong man to rock a neon colored tarzan wrap, and he pulled it off. Plus, since MLB didn't pan out, maybe meteorology is his thing. He's more accurate than Jonathan - "forecast for the weatherman once again, you've got a high pressures system moving in and you've got to step it up." Can't wait to see more of Roberto. And his bare chest.
Kirk - Watching Roberto and Ali, he kept clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. I'm sorry, Kirk....is this uncomfortable for you watch? Maybe he put his head in her cleavage (actually a little bit lower) when they were up with the wires, but at least he and Ali weren't so intense that they cleared the room! Who was that again? Oh yeah, YOU! And while his 'let me walk you to your room' line was a total player thing, it worked. And he nailed that "all we need is one more guy in the house with a guitar." I do like Kirk.....but not if he sings.
Justin - Ahhhh, crazy number 3. Honest Abe over here kept calling Kasey a fibber. So glad you're not a hypocrite Mr. I'd Never Walk to Ali's House. I'm just over Justin. He's a liar, he's immature, and he's a pro wrestler. I can't wait for him to get kicked off. Okay, for the third week in a row, Jackei is leading the group. This is uncanny and very reminiscent of last season.
Jackie, you may not be able to join the next one if you win your second in a row because it's just not as fun for the rest of us! I know I'm only jealous of your picking skills, but this is incredible!
Krysta, Krista and Sam are in 2nd and 3rd place with only a point separating them. Good luck, ladies!
Song 1
When I was flying in the helicopter over this amazing city,
I looked to my left and never saw something so pretty.
(Ali's nervous laughter)
At the end of tonight, I'm not just your average joe,
but I hope, in my hindsight, I'll see and find a rose. (seagull calling)
Song 2
On the night that I first saw you I was stepping through black glass,
and I knew at that first moment that you and I would last.
On the beach in california you made me start to believe,
and now in New York City and it's just you and me.
And tonight you've got a rose and I don't want to feel its thorns,
and if you choose me, Ali, I'll forever be your's.
Quality stuff, Kasey.
Quality.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Week 3 - humping, crying and mice?!?!?!
Okay, I have the theme for next year's Bachelor. Recovering alcoholic. I would love to see a bachelor/bachelorette that isn't allowed to drink. And how does Ali not get drunk? I'd be wasted if I drank as much coors light as she did!
Comments on some guys........
Hunter, John C. and Steve are gone. I liked Steve. I thought he was going to be my dark horse (had him going until round five.) Can the pool commissioner take a little off the top so that I can feel compensated somehow? Lord knows I'm not going to win. Making a picnic in the front of the house to bring the date to her? I thought he had it. Maybe it was because he couldn't open the bottle of champagne. And let's be clear.....sometimes popping the cork out is hard. But that's not what Steve-O struggled with. He couldn't unwind the metal wire that contained the cork. And he put on chapstick like a girl.
Hunter - don't even have a comment. He's too blah. He peaked too early on the first episode with his funny toupee and hot sauce dance song.
John C. - who the freak is he anyway? Peace!
Roberto - okay, date 1 with Roberto is our first flannel shirt sighting of the season. Based on previews, there is more to come. :) Ali told him the only way to get dinner was to walk across the wires. No offense, but I would have waited for breakfast. Although I did have someone at a shoe store tell me I had perfect balance once. Anyway, Roberto is adorable, and Ali is totally enamored by him. I especially liked her transition after dinner. "I don't like sitting at a table. I like dry humping on a blanket." I may have paraphrased the second part. Just a tease for her session with Kirk. I think Roberto's hanging on for awhile. Especially with a first kiss a few hundred feet in the air. Very cheesy, but very sweet.
Kasey - flannel shirt sighting number 2. Did I miss the early 90s coming back? Is Ali going to be in a baby doll dress next week? Carly pointed this out to me last week, and I have to agree. Kasey sounds like Kermit. Maybe they'll have a karaoke night, and he can belt out "It's not easy being green." Or creepy. Can't wait to see why he slits his wrists next week! Is that inappropriate of me? Sorry.
Frank - getting a little crazy possessive. She's going to talk to other guys. She's going to kiss other guys. She's going to dry hump other guys in front of you......wait, sorry, wait for Kirk's comments. Buck up, son.
Chris L. - if Ali doesn't pick him, I'm moving to Boston to find him. I was laughing out loud at him and John C. (first time I remember seeing him on camera) with the mouse. He dove across the room, a chair fell on him, trying to get to that little mouse. Guess that's what you do when you don't have cable in your house. And he placed 2nd in the flip cup championship in Vegas?!?!?!? And he has a tee-shirt that has a periodic table of the elements?!?!?!? I thought only my friend Curtis had that. I adore him. Winner. Calling it.
Kirk - what do you think Kirk's porno name would be? Maybe a Native American porno name? Rolls Around in Sheets With Girl And Audience Of Twenty? I felt awkward, and I was sitting at home alone. She really likes him, but I think he's only okay. Maybe he'll grow on me.
Ty - weirdest accent ever. Felt kind of bad for the guy. He was dogging on Justin at the end with a crowd of about 8 guys looking at him. And no one could drop a hint that Justin was hobbling up behind? No one? Good for him for confronting him (after Justin overheard) and calling him out. Ty gained a few points with me last night, but I'm still ready for him to hit the road.
Justin - speaking of hitting the road........seriously? I love that for him, Chris Harrison and Confucius rank up there with wisdom. Confucius say....... Chris Harrison say, you have to use every moment you've got. So if you've got 3 miles of pavement and a pair of crutches, get to hobbling! Not only do I hate that he took time away from the most boring one on one date ever (sorry Hunter), then he kept mentioning to other guys (unprovoked) that he would never go to Ali's house? He's like the person on facebook that does a status update that says 'I'm sad.' Too bad, I'm not biting. I'm not going to ask you why. Either tell me or.......actually, get off facebook and talk to a human if you're sad! I will say that I am shocked that not one car stopped to help him. I mean, I'm a little scared of strangers, too, but if I saw someone on the side of the road with crutches, I might at least call the police and ask them to help him. PS - if Kasey thinks you're creepy, you're in trouble.
Jonathan - gotta save the best for last. Not shocking, but he cried this week. The shocking part is that he cried about having to kiss the girl that he thinks will be his future wife. Hmmmmmmm. I liked Chris L's advice - "pretend like it's a weather forecast that you have to make out with a girl." Laughing out loud now thinking about it. And then, once Ali finally kisses him, because otherwise all we would have seen was neck snuggling, he starts crying. Because the boys are laughing. Now, normally I don't like anyone laughing at anyone. Except here. I also loved that when Ali comforted him (AGAIN) with a hug, he itched her back instead of rubbing it. Hmmmmm. I give Jonathan until next week - she just feels sorry for him. Although, this is an interesting tactic, cry like a baby and make the Bachelorette feel like a B*&$%# if she sends you home. I actually think I know husbands that do that.
Alright, and now for the standings. Jackie is holding strong in first place with another strong week. Jackie, I'm glad you gave girl scout's honor that you didn't research, because that means I'm allowed to be IMPRESSED by your picking skills. Nice work!
I'm holding down the fort at the tied for 20. It's where I really wanted to be anyway.
Can't wait for our trip around the world next week!
Comments on some guys........
Hunter, John C. and Steve are gone. I liked Steve. I thought he was going to be my dark horse (had him going until round five.) Can the pool commissioner take a little off the top so that I can feel compensated somehow? Lord knows I'm not going to win. Making a picnic in the front of the house to bring the date to her? I thought he had it. Maybe it was because he couldn't open the bottle of champagne. And let's be clear.....sometimes popping the cork out is hard. But that's not what Steve-O struggled with. He couldn't unwind the metal wire that contained the cork. And he put on chapstick like a girl.
Hunter - don't even have a comment. He's too blah. He peaked too early on the first episode with his funny toupee and hot sauce dance song.
John C. - who the freak is he anyway? Peace!
Roberto - okay, date 1 with Roberto is our first flannel shirt sighting of the season. Based on previews, there is more to come. :) Ali told him the only way to get dinner was to walk across the wires. No offense, but I would have waited for breakfast. Although I did have someone at a shoe store tell me I had perfect balance once. Anyway, Roberto is adorable, and Ali is totally enamored by him. I especially liked her transition after dinner. "I don't like sitting at a table. I like dry humping on a blanket." I may have paraphrased the second part. Just a tease for her session with Kirk. I think Roberto's hanging on for awhile. Especially with a first kiss a few hundred feet in the air. Very cheesy, but very sweet.
Kasey - flannel shirt sighting number 2. Did I miss the early 90s coming back? Is Ali going to be in a baby doll dress next week? Carly pointed this out to me last week, and I have to agree. Kasey sounds like Kermit. Maybe they'll have a karaoke night, and he can belt out "It's not easy being green." Or creepy. Can't wait to see why he slits his wrists next week! Is that inappropriate of me? Sorry.
Frank - getting a little crazy possessive. She's going to talk to other guys. She's going to kiss other guys. She's going to dry hump other guys in front of you......wait, sorry, wait for Kirk's comments. Buck up, son.
Chris L. - if Ali doesn't pick him, I'm moving to Boston to find him. I was laughing out loud at him and John C. (first time I remember seeing him on camera) with the mouse. He dove across the room, a chair fell on him, trying to get to that little mouse. Guess that's what you do when you don't have cable in your house. And he placed 2nd in the flip cup championship in Vegas?!?!?!? And he has a tee-shirt that has a periodic table of the elements?!?!?!? I thought only my friend Curtis had that. I adore him. Winner. Calling it.
Kirk - what do you think Kirk's porno name would be? Maybe a Native American porno name? Rolls Around in Sheets With Girl And Audience Of Twenty? I felt awkward, and I was sitting at home alone. She really likes him, but I think he's only okay. Maybe he'll grow on me.
Ty - weirdest accent ever. Felt kind of bad for the guy. He was dogging on Justin at the end with a crowd of about 8 guys looking at him. And no one could drop a hint that Justin was hobbling up behind? No one? Good for him for confronting him (after Justin overheard) and calling him out. Ty gained a few points with me last night, but I'm still ready for him to hit the road.
Justin - speaking of hitting the road........seriously? I love that for him, Chris Harrison and Confucius rank up there with wisdom. Confucius say....... Chris Harrison say, you have to use every moment you've got. So if you've got 3 miles of pavement and a pair of crutches, get to hobbling! Not only do I hate that he took time away from the most boring one on one date ever (sorry Hunter), then he kept mentioning to other guys (unprovoked) that he would never go to Ali's house? He's like the person on facebook that does a status update that says 'I'm sad.' Too bad, I'm not biting. I'm not going to ask you why. Either tell me or.......actually, get off facebook and talk to a human if you're sad! I will say that I am shocked that not one car stopped to help him. I mean, I'm a little scared of strangers, too, but if I saw someone on the side of the road with crutches, I might at least call the police and ask them to help him. PS - if Kasey thinks you're creepy, you're in trouble.
Jonathan - gotta save the best for last. Not shocking, but he cried this week. The shocking part is that he cried about having to kiss the girl that he thinks will be his future wife. Hmmmmmmm. I liked Chris L's advice - "pretend like it's a weather forecast that you have to make out with a girl." Laughing out loud now thinking about it. And then, once Ali finally kisses him, because otherwise all we would have seen was neck snuggling, he starts crying. Because the boys are laughing. Now, normally I don't like anyone laughing at anyone. Except here. I also loved that when Ali comforted him (AGAIN) with a hug, he itched her back instead of rubbing it. Hmmmmm. I give Jonathan until next week - she just feels sorry for him. Although, this is an interesting tactic, cry like a baby and make the Bachelorette feel like a B*&$%# if she sends you home. I actually think I know husbands that do that.
Alright, and now for the standings. Jackie is holding strong in first place with another strong week. Jackie, I'm glad you gave girl scout's honor that you didn't research, because that means I'm allowed to be IMPRESSED by your picking skills. Nice work!
I'm holding down the fort at the tied for 20. It's where I really wanted to be anyway.
Can't wait for our trip around the world next week!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Week 2 - My oh my....
Okay, ladies, I am impressed. We have 24 women participating in the pool for the Bachelorette which makes the first place price $192!!! That's awesome! Second place will be $36, and we'll give the last place person $12 to drown her sorrows in a glass of wine. Or two.
First off, I am so relieved that we are continuing the jumping into a guys arms and spinning around in the air. I would have hated to see us leave that with Bachelor Jake only.
So, last night........
Craig R - my biggest regret of my pool is that I have him getting kicked off after next week. I really liked him last night. Okay, I only liked him a little, but I want to listen to his one liners. "What is it about the Bachelorette and guitar players?" "Rated R? Rated 'I don't believe a word you say'."
Frank - so, at about 8:30, I loved Frank. He was adorable on their one on one date, he's funny, he's cute - great. But, by 9;30, I was freaked out. Can you really be that jealous so soon? Reminds me of someone else.....who is it? who is it? Oh yeah, V I E N N A!!!!!! But, what do I know because Vienna and Jake are twirling around the dance floor on ABC. Although, Frank did handle the incident of "the staffers forgot to fill the car up with gas before letting them drive to the Hollywood sign" really well. Taxi cab van? Great!
Justin - I want to feel sorry for him, and I did for a little bit last night when Ali made him hop down the stairs and across the beach for a 30 second announcement and then back up again. Not cool, Ali. But, I still think he's kind of a tool. And previews for next week booking it down the highway on crutches to Ali's private residence? We may have our first TPO (temporary restraining order) issued on The Bachelor. That really will make for the most dramatic season ever!
Chris L. - adorable. I love him. I kind of don't want Ali to pick him so I can go get him. I know we haven't seen a lot of him, but the way he just hung back when the guys got into it........love him. Stay strong and away from the drama queens.
Roberto - I gotta say, the kid is HOT! And the fact that he played MLB - even hotter! (we'll ignore the fact that he didn't make it for long) Plus, Ali acted like a giddy school girl talking to him. She couldn't help blushing the whole time they were on the bench! He'll be around for awhile.
Jesse - very handsome. until he opens his mouth. The kid is pretty much dullsville. Ali looked like she was working an event trying to get him to engage in a one on one conversation in Vegas. Please don't keep him around for too long. I might slit my wrists one of these Monday nights if you do.
Craig M. - I bet you thought I was saving him for last, but I'm not. Craig is just a jerk. Honestly - big fat bully, and I'm so glad he's not on the show. I don't even want to be funny about him. Okay, just one. Speedo, scotch and a cigar? Way to go out like a champ.
Jonathan - I've never seen someone look like he was more terrified. He looked like a cat that wandered into the Tyrannosaurus Rex pit at the zoo. Although, he is a brown belt in karate and if you come at him, he's going to put his hand in your face and do that. Do what? I'm laughing out loud right now thinking about how Steve had to build up Jonathan's confidence with the speedo. He was worried about how his legs looked and that he didn't have that big of a.........you know. This makes this twice in one week that we've spoken about male genitalia. It's not me - just the material. And Jonathan had a spiritual moment on the show last night. He proclaimed that if Craig M. got a rose, he would know there was no god. Dramatic much? And slow down on the 20 ounce cranberry juices, Jonathan. Don't want to get crazy up in here.
Alright - lucky for us, Jonathan is sticking around for next week. But, we did say good-bye to Craig M., Chris H. and Tyler V. Yup, I only knew who Craig was, too.
Here are the standings! Jackie's luck is working from last season as she is out to an early lead. However, there is a 13 way tie for second place, so don't get too comfortable. :)
Cheers to another good week next week! PS - I found out that we go down to 11 guys in next week's rose ceremony, not 12. So, we're just all lucky that we were able to pick 12!
First off, I am so relieved that we are continuing the jumping into a guys arms and spinning around in the air. I would have hated to see us leave that with Bachelor Jake only.
So, last night........
Craig R - my biggest regret of my pool is that I have him getting kicked off after next week. I really liked him last night. Okay, I only liked him a little, but I want to listen to his one liners. "What is it about the Bachelorette and guitar players?" "Rated R? Rated 'I don't believe a word you say'."
Frank - so, at about 8:30, I loved Frank. He was adorable on their one on one date, he's funny, he's cute - great. But, by 9;30, I was freaked out. Can you really be that jealous so soon? Reminds me of someone else.....who is it? who is it? Oh yeah, V I E N N A!!!!!! But, what do I know because Vienna and Jake are twirling around the dance floor on ABC. Although, Frank did handle the incident of "the staffers forgot to fill the car up with gas before letting them drive to the Hollywood sign" really well. Taxi cab van? Great!
Justin - I want to feel sorry for him, and I did for a little bit last night when Ali made him hop down the stairs and across the beach for a 30 second announcement and then back up again. Not cool, Ali. But, I still think he's kind of a tool. And previews for next week booking it down the highway on crutches to Ali's private residence? We may have our first TPO (temporary restraining order) issued on The Bachelor. That really will make for the most dramatic season ever!
Chris L. - adorable. I love him. I kind of don't want Ali to pick him so I can go get him. I know we haven't seen a lot of him, but the way he just hung back when the guys got into it........love him. Stay strong and away from the drama queens.
Roberto - I gotta say, the kid is HOT! And the fact that he played MLB - even hotter! (we'll ignore the fact that he didn't make it for long) Plus, Ali acted like a giddy school girl talking to him. She couldn't help blushing the whole time they were on the bench! He'll be around for awhile.
Jesse - very handsome. until he opens his mouth. The kid is pretty much dullsville. Ali looked like she was working an event trying to get him to engage in a one on one conversation in Vegas. Please don't keep him around for too long. I might slit my wrists one of these Monday nights if you do.
Craig M. - I bet you thought I was saving him for last, but I'm not. Craig is just a jerk. Honestly - big fat bully, and I'm so glad he's not on the show. I don't even want to be funny about him. Okay, just one. Speedo, scotch and a cigar? Way to go out like a champ.
Jonathan - I've never seen someone look like he was more terrified. He looked like a cat that wandered into the Tyrannosaurus Rex pit at the zoo. Although, he is a brown belt in karate and if you come at him, he's going to put his hand in your face and do that. Do what? I'm laughing out loud right now thinking about how Steve had to build up Jonathan's confidence with the speedo. He was worried about how his legs looked and that he didn't have that big of a.........you know. This makes this twice in one week that we've spoken about male genitalia. It's not me - just the material. And Jonathan had a spiritual moment on the show last night. He proclaimed that if Craig M. got a rose, he would know there was no god. Dramatic much? And slow down on the 20 ounce cranberry juices, Jonathan. Don't want to get crazy up in here.
Alright - lucky for us, Jonathan is sticking around for next week. But, we did say good-bye to Craig M., Chris H. and Tyler V. Yup, I only knew who Craig was, too.
Here are the standings! Jackie's luck is working from last season as she is out to an early lead. However, there is a 13 way tie for second place, so don't get too comfortable. :)
Cheers to another good week next week! PS - I found out that we go down to 11 guys in next week's rose ceremony, not 12. So, we're just all lucky that we were able to pick 12!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Week 1 - Bachelorette Madness
Wow, wow and wow. I always thought girls volunteered to be the Bachelorette so that they could meet 25 amazing guys. Apparently not. It's to meet 5 amazing guys and 20 girly boys.
So, last night Ali got to meet her pool of grooms to be. What a lucky girl.
Some of my faves -
Tyler M - said he wore cowboy boots just like Ali did when she got out of the limo to meet Jake. Except she didn't. Buh-bye, Tyler M.
Jay - worried that he didn't make enough of an impression. He didn't, so he was right. Probably too focused on keeping the shine in his Donald Trump coiffed hair. See ya!
Jason - I actually thought the backflip off the limo was great. Unfortunately, once he landed, it was all over for him. Peace out, Jason.
Derrick - oh man, I don't even know what to say. Premature? Really? That was what you were leading with? Word to the wise for the sexually challenged men out there - let the women find out for themselves. Turns out he's not such a sharp "shooter" after all.
And those were the ones who got kicked off! We still have a scrapbooker, an entertainment wrestler named "Rated R" and Dean McDermott's twin brother. This is shaping up to be a highly entertaining season at the expense of poor Ali with all this goofs.
So, it's time to fill out those brackets. Based on the fact that Ali picked 17 guys last night, we saw that next week she goes down to 14 guys. So, we're having to do some estimating as we're playing out the brackets. We're hoping we're right. :)
Please make your picks by 9am tomorrow and NO RESEARCHING!!!
Happy guessing!
So, last night Ali got to meet her pool of grooms to be. What a lucky girl.
Some of my faves -
Tyler M - said he wore cowboy boots just like Ali did when she got out of the limo to meet Jake. Except she didn't. Buh-bye, Tyler M.
Jay - worried that he didn't make enough of an impression. He didn't, so he was right. Probably too focused on keeping the shine in his Donald Trump coiffed hair. See ya!
Jason - I actually thought the backflip off the limo was great. Unfortunately, once he landed, it was all over for him. Peace out, Jason.
Derrick - oh man, I don't even know what to say. Premature? Really? That was what you were leading with? Word to the wise for the sexually challenged men out there - let the women find out for themselves. Turns out he's not such a sharp "shooter" after all.
And those were the ones who got kicked off! We still have a scrapbooker, an entertainment wrestler named "Rated R" and Dean McDermott's twin brother. This is shaping up to be a highly entertaining season at the expense of poor Ali with all this goofs.
So, it's time to fill out those brackets. Based on the fact that Ali picked 17 guys last night, we saw that next week she goes down to 14 guys. So, we're having to do some estimating as we're playing out the brackets. We're hoping we're right. :)
Please make your picks by 9am tomorrow and NO RESEARCHING!!!
Happy guessing!
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