Tahiti may be one of the most beautiful places on earth, but it was ugly last night. Ugly cry, ugly. Poor Ali couldn't contain herself. Let's back it up.......
Roberto - Ali might have made one of the most superficial comments of the season last night. "Roberto is going to be hotter in Tahiti." I think she needs Jake to remind her why she's here. To find a husband. Lord knows he was on it to find a wife. I also think she was here to find a heart shaped lagoon, sit in 12 inches of water and make out with her hotter in Tahiti pseudo boyfriend Roberto. Not that I wouldn't have done the same. Then they both got all dolled up for dinner where Roberto continued to prove that while he is extremely attractive, he's not the best conversationalist. My mind kept jumping back to her dinner with Jesse - awkward. Although, he did tell her he loved her, and that was very cute. Then she told him she had something from Chris Harrison, and you know he only gives the good presents. Ali said she wanted to go to the fantasy suite with Roberto because she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but I think she just wanted to see him naked. Further evidenced by the fact that when she realized his clothes were wet she very seductively removed his shirt (and mic pack) and shut the blinds. I think they were probably getting ready for a nice quiet game of Scrabble.
Chris L. - It is taking all my might to sit here and type this right now rather than run to the airport, impersonate a pilot and hijack a plane to get to Cape Cod. Could he be any better? Seriously. Except for the shot of him and Ali in swim shoes. What was that all about? I guess prioritizing un-cut feet comes above dry clothing, because Lord knows there weren't any rowboats in Tahiti. The cool factor was definitely compensated for when they found pearls in the oysters. But, did anyone else feel like they were being wasteful? Just constantly cracking them open and dropping them? Those could have been good on the half shell. I would have thought more of two New Englanders. Fast forward to their laid back dinner which I thought was awesome. You're in Tahiti, so go ahead and be laid back. Besides, all your clothes are going to get ruined by the ocean when you walk to the room anyway. And I really enjoyed Chris L looking around for Chris Harrison when Ali said he got them something. And the fact that when she pronounced the island for him, he said, "I'm reading this." They're a totally normal couple. Damn it, she definitely picked him. I'm left with all the 5 foot 6 preppy boys in Atlanta. Chris and Ali seemed like they were settling down to do a nightcap puzzle when he pulled the blinds.
Frank - So, I found it coincidental that he realized during the packing for Tahiti process that feelings were brewing inside of him. You would have thought that he could have figured that out before he busted out the suitcase. And as much of a douchebag as he is for what he did, I did feel legitimately happy for him and Nicole. Although it took them about two weeks to get through a conversation that could have taken 5 minutes, they are definitely both in the same place, and I like that. I do not however like baby talk ('I missed your kisses.') Shut up. Frank says, I'm in love with this girl and she is in love with me, and we're going to live happily ever after. That's awesome - honestly. Bad news, though, you are on a national television show where 36 hours earlier you were professing your adoration for another girl. So, Frank heads to Tahiti to blindside Ali. Poor Ali really had no freaking idea walking in. She was talking about how much she missed Frank and how much she needed this date. I really think he could have been the winner. Then the dreaded four words - We. Need. To. Talk. God bless Ali and Frank and their dramatic pauses because their break up conversation rivaled his and Nicole's get back together conversation. However, this one nearly flooded the island. Not that I blame anyone for being upset, but poor Ali couldn't get a grip. I'm halfway surprised that a producer, oh, I'm sorry, staffer, didn't come in halfway through and fix the poor girl's make-up. the flower in her hair hit the deck within 15 seconds. She eventually said good-bye to Frank and sat in the sand where Chris Harrison came to comfort her. I really felt sorry for her and for him - terrible conversation. She told him she gave up everything to be here and he said he did too. Ali said it best, "Apparently not everything, Frank." Good luck with Nicole.
So, we set a new record on Bachelorette last night. LEAST dramatic rose ceremony ever. Two roses, two guys. Ali felt it was important for both of them to accept the rose. Have we seen anyone ever decline a rose? I can't remember seeing that. Also, ABC finally found the money for some boats so that the guys didn't have to wade through the water to the rose ceremony. Must have been bonus time at the network.
Next week, the guys tell all. I'm hoping they tell about Bachelor Pad! That show looks great.
As expected, Jackie is holding on to the lead, and Melisa C is in second. If she picks Chris L, Jackie has it in the bag. If she picks Roberto, we go to a tie-breaker between Jackie and Melisa C. For the dramatic effect, and for the fact that this means Chris L is temporarily single, I am now hoping Ali picks Roberto.
Happy Tuesday!
Great post, despite the obvious bias for Chris :) As much as the timing sucked I feel like Frank really was being genuine. It wasn't like he came on the show to hook up or get famous, he's just confused...what man isn't? I feel so invested in this show and can't wait to see who she picks and whether it works out...she just better pick one of them!!!!
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