So, I'm not sure if you guys were as confused as me. I swear I was watching the Bachelorette, but it kind of felt like watching an episode of Glee must (haven't done it yet, but I feel like it's accurate.) We had singing, dancing and high school maturity. We had some one on one time with Ali and the camera last night for InStyle. What the F was that? However, it did give us flannel shirt sighting number 4 on the hairdresser. Soon followed by flannel shirt number 5 on Kasey and 6 on Frank. Moving on.......
Chris N. - Okay, I'm done being funny. Seriously, who is this guy? I can honestly say I don't even know what his voice sounds like. Maybe that's his strategy. Don't act like a tool (which most of the guys are), and you'll make it to the end!
Kasey - I hate to start with him, but I have to. I take notes when I watch the show (it's a lot of pressure to try to be funny for you ladies the next day.) Everytime I make a comment on a guy, I go to a new column in excel. I got to column S with Kasey. COLUMN S!!!! Quote of the evening (and there were a lot to choose from) - "It's just my heart. Jump in. Stay awhile." Closely followed by "I'm here to guard and protect your heart." Kermit Kasey has got to relax. As Chris L. aptly pointed out, there are a lot of singing boys on the show. Kasey should NOT have been one of them. I was so impressed by Ali's ability to keep somewhat of a straight face while he sang the first song. Yes, first. because there were two. Why were there two? Kasey tells us. "It just kind of came to me. Because that's what you do. Inspire me." Shockingly, Ali kept him around. However, she gave him coaching. Pretty much to chill out. And I don't know about you guys, but nothing says chilling out like getting a tattoo for the person asking you to chill out. More quotes, I know, but they're so good. "I wear my emotions in my heart and literally on my sleeve." I couldn't have said it better. Luckily for Kasey, Frank was still here. Because the only reason Kasey is making it to next week is because Frank interrupted the tat unveiling. Next week Ali has put it best - "the only thing Kasey has to do is be normal." Best of luck, Kasey.......best of luck. For all those who want to spread the inspiration, please find the lyrics for Kasey's songs below.
Chris L. - I couldn't love him more. Not only was he a trooper about Ali being sick - he brought flowers and chicken noodle soup! He was so sweet and patient with her, and she rewarded him with a rooftop serenade and a dance. And a first kiss that rivaled her and Roberto's - NYC at night, live music and a gospel choir. Maybe the gospel choir could have gone. Chris L. is also the best at summarizing the guys. While Kasey thinks of Ali with doves and rainbows and her running towards him in a meadow, Chris L doesn't see her that way. Not unicorn love. Team Chris L all the way.
Frank - Frank is still seeming to have trouble recognizing that he's on a show with other guys dating the same girl. Perhaps he suffers from short term memory loss. Because each week he laments about watching her with other guys.......same situation as last week! and as before you signed up for the show! He did have some cute one on one time with Ali in the rain, but then again he also brought a sick girl out into a cold rainstorm. He's definitely sane in some capacity, though, because he sees Kasey. "I'm going to guard and protect your heart. He got a tattoo. That doesn't prove anything except you're crazy. You're going to be the tattooed bachelorette guy for the rest of your life."
Jonathan - Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan. You're very lucky Kasey is so deeply disturbed because otherwise you would be the craziest. In the beginning of the Lion King date, he said the forecast looks good. However, the winds must have changed because "the forecast is for sunny skies and out of the blue, this storm crapped in my face." Now, he was talking about Roberto. But, I thought there was the chance he was nervous about the spandex again. Because he doesn't have a big.....ya know. He equated the Lion King experience to having a beehive of knives in your face. what? Jonathan tried to make up for his lack of one on one time by interrupting Craig R. and Ali. Not only was it awkward, it was unsuccessful. I think this is the first time in the history of the show that someone tried to break up a conversation and lost. Good girl Ali, don't let crazy Jonathan win. Even the soundtrack thinks Jonathan is crazy. Everytime he's on the screen, crazy music plays. I promise. But, I think he put the final nail in his coffin with the song. Another guy with a guitar - right on, Chris L. And another guy who doesn't have the gift of tone. Ironically, Jonathan thought this would be his saving grace, "Now that I've sang a song, I'd be surprised if I didn't get a rose. Looks like the skies are clearing." Wrong. Better quit your day job.
Jesse - This shocked me. He did a great job dancing the reverse running man and thrusting, clearly had the best voice of all of them and didn't do anything douchebaggish. But, Ali send him home. I'm not a huge Jesse fan, but the fact that he doesn't suck should have kept him around longer that for sure Kasey. Sorry, Jesse.
Roberto - My loyalty is with Chris L., but I got chills when the director picked Roberto. When he sang the song to Ali (with his not so hot voice) the paper in his hands was literally shaking. It was so sweet and vulnerable. Plus, it takes a strong man to rock a neon colored tarzan wrap, and he pulled it off. Plus, since MLB didn't pan out, maybe meteorology is his thing. He's more accurate than Jonathan - "forecast for the weatherman once again, you've got a high pressures system moving in and you've got to step it up." Can't wait to see more of Roberto. And his bare chest.
Kirk - Watching Roberto and Ali, he kept clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. I'm sorry, Kirk....is this uncomfortable for you watch? Maybe he put his head in her cleavage (actually a little bit lower) when they were up with the wires, but at least he and Ali weren't so intense that they cleared the room! Who was that again? Oh yeah, YOU! And while his 'let me walk you to your room' line was a total player thing, it worked. And he nailed that "all we need is one more guy in the house with a guitar." I do like Kirk.....but not if he sings.
Justin - Ahhhh, crazy number 3. Honest Abe over here kept calling Kasey a fibber. So glad you're not a hypocrite Mr. I'd Never Walk to Ali's House. I'm just over Justin. He's a liar, he's immature, and he's a pro wrestler. I can't wait for him to get kicked off. Okay, for the third week in a row, Jackei is leading the group. This is uncanny and very reminiscent of last season.
Jackie, you may not be able to join the next one if you win your second in a row because it's just not as fun for the rest of us! I know I'm only jealous of your picking skills, but this is incredible!
Krysta, Krista and Sam are in 2nd and 3rd place with only a point separating them. Good luck, ladies!
Song 1
When I was flying in the helicopter over this amazing city,
I looked to my left and never saw something so pretty.
(Ali's nervous laughter)
At the end of tonight, I'm not just your average joe,
but I hope, in my hindsight, I'll see and find a rose. (seagull calling)
Song 2
On the night that I first saw you I was stepping through black glass,
and I knew at that first moment that you and I would last.
On the beach in california you made me start to believe,
and now in New York City and it's just you and me.
And tonight you've got a rose and I don't want to feel its thorns,
and if you choose me, Ali, I'll forever be your's.
Quality stuff, Kasey.
Quality.
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