Okay, I have the theme for next year's Bachelor. Recovering alcoholic. I would love to see a bachelor/bachelorette that isn't allowed to drink. And how does Ali not get drunk? I'd be wasted if I drank as much coors light as she did!
Comments on some guys........
Hunter, John C. and Steve are gone. I liked Steve. I thought he was going to be my dark horse (had him going until round five.) Can the pool commissioner take a little off the top so that I can feel compensated somehow? Lord knows I'm not going to win. Making a picnic in the front of the house to bring the date to her? I thought he had it. Maybe it was because he couldn't open the bottle of champagne. And let's be clear.....sometimes popping the cork out is hard. But that's not what Steve-O struggled with. He couldn't unwind the metal wire that contained the cork. And he put on chapstick like a girl.
Hunter - don't even have a comment. He's too blah. He peaked too early on the first episode with his funny toupee and hot sauce dance song.
John C. - who the freak is he anyway? Peace!
Roberto - okay, date 1 with Roberto is our first flannel shirt sighting of the season. Based on previews, there is more to come. :) Ali told him the only way to get dinner was to walk across the wires. No offense, but I would have waited for breakfast. Although I did have someone at a shoe store tell me I had perfect balance once. Anyway, Roberto is adorable, and Ali is totally enamored by him. I especially liked her transition after dinner. "I don't like sitting at a table. I like dry humping on a blanket." I may have paraphrased the second part. Just a tease for her session with Kirk. I think Roberto's hanging on for awhile. Especially with a first kiss a few hundred feet in the air. Very cheesy, but very sweet.
Kasey - flannel shirt sighting number 2. Did I miss the early 90s coming back? Is Ali going to be in a baby doll dress next week? Carly pointed this out to me last week, and I have to agree. Kasey sounds like Kermit. Maybe they'll have a karaoke night, and he can belt out "It's not easy being green." Or creepy. Can't wait to see why he slits his wrists next week! Is that inappropriate of me? Sorry.
Frank - getting a little crazy possessive. She's going to talk to other guys. She's going to kiss other guys. She's going to dry hump other guys in front of you......wait, sorry, wait for Kirk's comments. Buck up, son.
Chris L. - if Ali doesn't pick him, I'm moving to Boston to find him. I was laughing out loud at him and John C. (first time I remember seeing him on camera) with the mouse. He dove across the room, a chair fell on him, trying to get to that little mouse. Guess that's what you do when you don't have cable in your house. And he placed 2nd in the flip cup championship in Vegas?!?!?!? And he has a tee-shirt that has a periodic table of the elements?!?!?!? I thought only my friend Curtis had that. I adore him. Winner. Calling it.
Kirk - what do you think Kirk's porno name would be? Maybe a Native American porno name? Rolls Around in Sheets With Girl And Audience Of Twenty? I felt awkward, and I was sitting at home alone. She really likes him, but I think he's only okay. Maybe he'll grow on me.
Ty - weirdest accent ever. Felt kind of bad for the guy. He was dogging on Justin at the end with a crowd of about 8 guys looking at him. And no one could drop a hint that Justin was hobbling up behind? No one? Good for him for confronting him (after Justin overheard) and calling him out. Ty gained a few points with me last night, but I'm still ready for him to hit the road.
Justin - speaking of hitting the road........seriously? I love that for him, Chris Harrison and Confucius rank up there with wisdom. Confucius say....... Chris Harrison say, you have to use every moment you've got. So if you've got 3 miles of pavement and a pair of crutches, get to hobbling! Not only do I hate that he took time away from the most boring one on one date ever (sorry Hunter), then he kept mentioning to other guys (unprovoked) that he would never go to Ali's house? He's like the person on facebook that does a status update that says 'I'm sad.' Too bad, I'm not biting. I'm not going to ask you why. Either tell me or.......actually, get off facebook and talk to a human if you're sad! I will say that I am shocked that not one car stopped to help him. I mean, I'm a little scared of strangers, too, but if I saw someone on the side of the road with crutches, I might at least call the police and ask them to help him. PS - if Kasey thinks you're creepy, you're in trouble.
Jonathan - gotta save the best for last. Not shocking, but he cried this week. The shocking part is that he cried about having to kiss the girl that he thinks will be his future wife. Hmmmmmmm. I liked Chris L's advice - "pretend like it's a weather forecast that you have to make out with a girl." Laughing out loud now thinking about it. And then, once Ali finally kisses him, because otherwise all we would have seen was neck snuggling, he starts crying. Because the boys are laughing. Now, normally I don't like anyone laughing at anyone. Except here. I also loved that when Ali comforted him (AGAIN) with a hug, he itched her back instead of rubbing it. Hmmmmm. I give Jonathan until next week - she just feels sorry for him. Although, this is an interesting tactic, cry like a baby and make the Bachelorette feel like a B*&$%# if she sends you home. I actually think I know husbands that do that.
Alright, and now for the standings. Jackie is holding strong in first place with another strong week. Jackie, I'm glad you gave girl scout's honor that you didn't research, because that means I'm allowed to be IMPRESSED by your picking skills. Nice work!
I'm holding down the fort at the tied for 20. It's where I really wanted to be anyway.
Can't wait for our trip around the world next week!
No comments:
Post a Comment