Week 6 - Tantalizing Turkey

So, first things first. ABC screwed us up. Well, I guess they didn't know to plan around me, but they should have. They have an extra week in the schedule. Don't worry, I've come up with a solution. So, all of us picked 6 people for last week. Ali picked 7 guys last week. This week she picked 5. So, we're all using the same pool of six people for last week and this week. I really enjoyed changing the spreadsheet around. I probably need to get a life.

Last night began ominously. I mean, when Chris Harrison is at your door, it's never a good thing. Ali had her heart broken (well, she didn't seem sad as much as mad) by one of the guys' girlfriends! (Shocking, I know.) Apparently, one of the guys this season only came onto the show to promote his career. Guesses? Anyone? Not the retail mananger. Not the landscaper. Wait for big surprise number 2, it's the wrestler. I am shocked and appalled that he was not there for reasons of the heart. And apparently he's dating Lacey Chabert. Did anyone else notice the resemblance that she had towards little Claudia Salinger? And Ali referenced later that she was bawling her eyes out - was she having a conversation with the same girl that we saw? The one who let her boyfriend sell her out to go on tv and then who she, in turn, sold out by saving his voicemails and giving them to ABC? This is a fantastic couple - gives screwing each other a new meaning. Regardless, Rated R tried as hard as he could to leave the hotel, but he apparently got caught in a labyrinth. Seriously. There was not an exit. He went through shrubbery, up fountains, tried to get in doors (waiter stopped him) before he finally gave up and came back to Ali. As Chris L said, who does that? I wonder if ABC had Turkish police barricading the place. Big Bad wrestler even had to tell Ali not to touch him. Yeah, I'm sure she was going to put the smack down on you. Either way, Justin's gone. And his famous last words to the other guys - F You. Straight up. Now that's a class act. Moral of the story? If you're trying to dupe a national television show, don't leave voicemails saying so.

Craig R - he broke my heart last night. I know some of you thought he was sappy, but I thought he was sweet. And hilarious. When Justin got called out, Craig's two cents were that it's a long way from Turkey to Canada and he hopes he has to swim with a broken leg. And Craig had some of his funniest moments at the olive oil wrestling match. That's right - Olive Oil Wrestling. I wonder if Swinging Richards knows about this? I'm sure all the guys were glad that the wrestler went home before they wrestled. Anyway, Craig was highly motivated to win the wrestling competition to get some one on one time with Ali. Even though he's used to fighting with words. Well, our boy Craig won. I was so happy for him I clapped. Yup, clapped. In the living room. With other people. Only one clapping. Moving on. Craig and Ali had some good one on one time, but she wasn't trying to jump him like she does to Roberto. However, there was a very serious moment over dinner when Craig asked Ali what she thought about him changing his career. And pursuing Turkish Olive Oil wrestling. See, he's funny!?!?!? Not funny enough to stay - Ali sent him packing. Sorry, Craig!

Kirk - Kirk was pretty dull this week. No comments, no weird "I'm dying" stories. I kind of wish he was going home. As Melisa Cook pointed out, he does look like he could be Vienna's brother though. I think that is quite interesting and totally on the money. I'm over Kirk. Ready for him to peace out.

Ty - Oh, Ty. Perhaps where you're from people wear black dress socks with athletic shorts, but not on national television. Best to invest in the Hanes 6 pack and save yourself some grief. On his one on one with Ali, he strutted down the street in his elf pointed cowboy boots with his piece of flair tied around his neck. Disappointingly, he also appeared to forget to rub in the sunscreen he put on before going into the Turkish bath. The sun is quite powerful through all those tiny holes in the ceiling. But, topping the black socks and sunscreen was his tartan skirt. He shuffled with Ali in his plaid skirt (can't believe there was more plaid) until they got to their spot. Probably once there he realized that he would have a hard time explaining this outfit to the cowboy dudes back home. But amazingly, none of these things made him look the dumbest last night. Nope, he did that when he told Ali he divorced his wife because she wanted to work and he wanted her to stay home. Now, I get that he might not have watched Jake's season. But, I'm willing to bet they all googled Ali once they found out she was the Bachelorette. And hopefully found out that she left the show last season for her job. her JOB. I can't believe she didn't kick him off then and there. I still don't think he recovered from that foot in mouth. (and if his ears are any indication of foot size, that's a mouthful)

Chris L. - nothing too great last night. He's still handsome. Still my favorite. Still funny to me. What did you do in Turkey? I took my shirt off and wrestled with Turkish men. I'm a little nervous that Chris L wasn't in any of the previews last night, but I'm not losing faith yet. I think ABC has a trick up their sleeve. Like everyone goes to Tahiti or something. He just has to be in the final two and win. He just has to!

Roberto - (as Krysta said) "and now playing the part of Frank......." Roberto is getting a little crazy. Little psycho. Starting to have Frank disease that he forgets Ali is dating other men. You're still really hot, but you're not adding anything in the personality department. It's a good thing I like dark hair and dark complexions - I still like you. For now.

Frank - While he may be getting creepy, he was pretty funny last night. With the pistachio aphrodisiac (pistachio ice cream, pistachio fudge, pistachio chocolate) - "is there anything with pistachio in it?" And the rug. I love him. Said the rug salesman was like a bad used car salesman. Unlucky for him, I'm not buying a rug today. There's no way I'm buying a carpet right now. It's just not happening. Cut to Ali and Frank walking out carrying a rug. For the rest of the night. Sucker. He said he had the girl of his dreams on his arms. And a Turkish rug on the other shoulder. Does life get better?

Last night concluded, as usual, with the rose ceremony. However, I'm pretty sure the camera guys filmed Ali looking at the photos after she rejected Craig. Because poor Craig's picture was barely on the table!

So, Jackie is still in the lead, and Melisa Cook is in 2nd. I think eventually I really am going to take a cut of the pool just to feel compensated because I SUCK at picking this.

Can't wait for next week!