Bachelor Brad Week 5 - Viva Las Vegas

This week began with Chris Harrison telling all the ladies they will be leaving the mansion……..and going to Vegas! No, wait, the show actually began with an Chris' voiceover saying this was the most "controversial" season ever. Hmmm - I think Jason actually won that one with picking one girl on the show and six weeks later saying "Oops! Wrong girl." Wonder what lies ahead.

Back to mansion, the girls have one hour to pack their luggage and go. It appears the girls have been given flip cams to document their travel to Vegas. Now, it was fun to see them on the plane - impressed they're flying coach, not first class. Although I'm confident Brad was on a chartered jet. However, the best shot was of the luggage. Are you kidding me?!?!?!? I mean, there are a lot of girls, but that was a LOT of luggage! Poor Bachelor staffer.

Shawntel - For the first date, Brad delivers the note. He pulls out a date card, and the group collectively sighs. Brad recovered well saying "This could be a good thing!" For Shawntel, it was. Now, a lot of the dates the girls (and guys) have gone on over the seasons have been A-MAZING! But, this one takes the cake. A mall of high end stores and no credit card limit? No wonder Shawntel still likes you. My 2 year old goddaughter would fall in love with you if you did that with her at Toys R' Us. So, that means we know Shawntel is in it to win it now. But how does Brad feel eating raw tuna with an embalmer at the table? And she makes a point to say she's going to continue eating while she talks about putting chemicals in dead bodies? I mean, I know it's her job, but maybe put down the fork and knife while you explain to the man you want to be your husband that you clean out corpses. Still, she must have done something right. Rose 1.

Michelle - So, the second date is the group date which meant anyone not on the invite is on the 2 on 1 (where no one wants to be.) After everyone figures out it's Ashley and Ashley, tears ensue. Apparently it's like pitting the Olsen twins against each other. But our sensitive Michelle has just the right words, "I'm so glad this is happening. Maybe they'll both go home." I cannot believe she is a mother - her poor daughter. She's psyched about the race car date because, as she puts it, "I'm fun and hot." Fun to make fun of, maybe? But that's not enough crazy for one episode. Now, I'm guessing because it's ABC primitive, the producers did not allow her to wear leather and carry a whip at the rose ceremony. However, that didn't stop the dominatrix from coming out. What I don't understand is why Brad is falling under her spell. Is this why I'm still single? Because I don't whip guys into shape by demanding they don't speak and they tell them what to do with their lives? I truly think I'm capable of that. Really I do! Rose for Michelle.

Chantal - I think she made what could have been a crucial error this week. Honestly, even if Brad does pick her, I think she'll get bored with him fast. She seems to have too much personality and energy for Brad. I mean, I like the guy, but he is kind of dull, right? Anyone, she dropped the l-bomb. I do give him credit for not letting her breeze over the slip, but even I know you protect that word in dating as long as you can! It must have worked, though, because I thought for sure her outfit at the rose ceremony was her final nail in the coffin (reference to Shawntel in case you didn't pick that up.) :) I think she wrapped her breasts up like Hershey kisses and stuck some black netting on top, letting some of the "goods" hang out the top. Awful dress, awful. But….Rose.

Ashleys - Since they apparently function as one being, I'm going to reminisce about them as such. I did feel for both girls as they were going on their date; they do appear to genuinely be friends. And as Ellen pointed out to me, apparently they got matching tattoos while they were in the house……so, they're close. Their Cirque date seemed fun (no shopping spree, though) and Ashley H won out. Getting the rose also got her a shared dressing room with Brad. I mean, we're all grown-ups here, but being that it's kind of like their 3rd date, don't you think ABC could have sprung for two changing areas? And while the two of them were getting naked together, Ashley S was in a limo to the airport with "Are you Lonesome Tonight?" playing. Over the top cheesy, ABC. I get the Elvis tie-in and all, but too much. I really did feel bad for Ashley S. She is convinced something is wrong with her because no guy ever picks her. She was crying genuine, not alcohol induced, tears, and it was really sad. Chin up, Ashley S. Next you'll get to go on the Bachelor Pad and find your true soul mate!

Emily - Dude, this poor girl is such a trooper. There are no words of sarcasm here. Not only did she not immediately pull Brad aside and tell him the story and that she didn't want to participate, she had a smile on her face! Albeit, it was fake, but at least she was trying. And I love that she knows her story/life is a lot to handle, and she doesn't expect anyone to be able to. And she feels like she needs to explain she's usually a fun girl. How sweet. Watching her get in the car with tears streaming down her face, telling Brad she needs to do this, I started to tear up. Then her voiceover saying the first few laps were for Ricky and the last was for her? Forget about it! Still think you're going to break his heart, but I love ya! Rose Emily.