Bachelor Brad Week 4 - You want me to do what?!?!?

So, I'm back in the saddle again and ready to talk about the ladies. However, they did not give me much ammunition last night. Compared to weeks 2 and 3, week 4 was refreshingly normal. Except for the fact that it should have been called - "The Bachelor - Fear Factor Edition." I mean, I'm not a wuss, but walking on the bottom of the ocean and rappelling off a skyscraper? Who does that? I'm glad they saved the race track driving for next week so that the woman who's fiance died on the way to a race can participate. Seriously, producers? None of your 'staffers' could have made you aware of that bad decision? Anyway, back to this week....

Michelle - no, wait, I'm saving her for last. I like my crazy for dessert.

Chantal - my biggest regret this season is that I did not pick up on how awesome she is in the first episode. She seems like a down to earth girl - very Alli like. Not me, Alli, Bachlorette Alli. Having never been in a helicopter, I was only more jealous that one has never landed in my driveway. Especially right in front of all my competition that had to link arms to keep from being blow away. Talk about feeling like Cinderella with ugly stepsisters. She was a trooper with walking on the ocean floor - I love the water, but that would have had me terrified. While the astronaut style kiss was a little lame, I think it stayed on the cute side. :) Watching the two of them together, they're very natural. And I won't even give her flack for crying about him brining Emily the picnic basket. That was a bit over the top and individual for a rose ceremony. Plus, she didn't cry in front of him. Kudos to you Chantal. Ashley H, take notes. It's called self-control. On top of all that, she hates Michelle! Chantal, you're alright in my book.

Ashley H - she has a new name - DD. Nope, not speaking of her bust size; Debbie Downer. This girl has a knack for taking everyone in the group down a couple pegs just when you're about to have a good time. Shots in a hot tub? Nope, not fun at all. About to get a rose from Brad? According to Ashley, that's awkward. Nice work, DD, random Britt got the rose instead. While you are playing the damsel in distress role to a T for Brad, I think he'll burn out on you quickly. But, maybe this is my fault. I mean, how many dentists do you know with a positive outlook on life?

Emily - I can't say anything bad about this girl. She is so sugary sweet that you want to think it's fake, but I think it's legitimate. I mean, she left presents everyday for her daughter while she was gone. How thoughtful is that? (and, how hysterical is it that her daughter told her it was okay if she wanted to stay longer so she could get more presents? :) Brad is clearly head over heels (as demonstrated by the picnic basket) for Emily, but I'm not sure about her feelings towards him. I can't recall who made the comment "do you think he has a ring in that basket?" but I think Brad debated including one. Brad wants her there for the long haul, but if the previews are any indication, I think we're in countdown mode until she breaks his heart.

Michelle - okay, I saved the best (?) for last. While Michelle may be entertaining, I'm on my last legs with her. Her level of delusion and the fact she could not be more self-centered are wearing thin for me. For any of you Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans, Michelle is the blond Camille. Where to start, where to start. Okay, let's go with the random black eye. Now, I'm not a doctor, but that's unusual. What makes it psycho is to continue harping on it, claiming you beat yourself up in your sleep because of stress (WHAT?!?!?) and pointing it out to Brad in a pissed off tone. He didn't do anything. Although she did claim she would give him a black eye if he didn't give her the one on one date. Ashley S made the comment I would have - "I wish I had given Michelle that black eye." When Chantal pointed out to Michelle that her card was the only one that didn't say LOVE on it somewhere, I laughed out loud at the face Michelle made. "What does this mean?!?!" Nothing you wackadoodle - it's your third date, and do you really think Brad is writing the cards? Really? Then while Michelle was complaining about the time Brad was spending with Ashley H on her day, Chantal was nice enough to point out that Michelle had done the same thing on the first group date. I love watching a debate where you can see the moment that the loser knows they're done. It's normally followed by a "whatever." Best to yank your man across the room and leave, Michelle. After the slowest rappel EVER down the building, Michelle and Brad had some romantic time. Moving forward.....Michelle gets back in front of the camera. (I keep wanting to call this time the confessional (a la Real World)). She drops the hammer in the confessional. BOOM. Very classy, Michelle, very classy. Disappointingly, I have her moving forward pretty far, but I don't think I can take it. Please kick her off, Brad, please.

Meghan - Now, I don't know much about Meghan, but I think she's really Alice in Wonderland. She RAN out of the rose ceremony like she was late, late for a very important date. Wonder where she was headed. Back to reality?