Bachelor Brad Week 8 - HomeTown HoDown

A few comments from Brad’s introspective time on the balcony of his New York suite:

“Waking up in New York I feel very excited. Also I’m thinking a lot.” Glad to know that you’ve started a new hobby Brad.

“I see a very real life with Chantal. In a lot of ways, I want Chantal O. to be my wife, but I have questions. I do think she’s emotional.” Please don’t use the last initial when referring to Chantal and Shawntel. It’s weird. Also – if you weren’t looking for an emotional girl – reality television is probably not your best dating pool.

“I’ve always been able to count on the relationship between Shawntel and I. No roller coaster, no games, no drama. It’s consistent.” All four weeks of it. Head slap.

First up – my girl Chantal in her hometown of Seattle. WHOA. She just fell a few notches when she said she lived alone with two cats and a dog. I’m a firm believer that the number of homo sapiens should equal or be greater than the number of other mammals living in a home. She just broke that rule to hell. Not to mention – I did not pick Chantal for a cat person (no offense cat people), but the cat laying on the kitchen counter in her dirty cat bed – I just threw up. Who puts a cat bed on a kitchen counter?!?!?! Bad Chantal.

When they pull up at her parents’ house, my first and only thought was – WOW, her parents are loaded. Either her mom is a midget or that’s a 20 foot high front door. Brad keeps staring at Chantal’s hot mom and I’m pretty sure his admiration of the future Chantal went up a few notches after that. After Mamma Chantal says she’s having a home cooked meal, Brad says he wants to hug her. Told ya…

Also – because I’m nosy, I googled and it turns out Chantal’s (step)dad is a former Seattle Seahawk’s player. That explains the abundance of cosmetic touch-ups on mom and dad. Either way – I want their wine cellar, especially the 4 bottles of Opus One sitting behind them when Brad and Dad hugged.

Next up – the rapidly annoying Ashley in Madawaska, Maine. Seriously Brad, 2 seconds after she finishes telling you it’s a French speaking town – you answer “Si”? And then ask if that's Spanish? Zut Alors!

I have to say – Ashley’s loud giggling and “energy” is somewhat annoying. Also – every road side stand in every part of the country has an honor system at some point. It’s really not that unusual, so simmer down Brad. So – off to meet her fam. Mon Dieu!!!! That is a seriously tatted up sister Ashley has. So much for small town values! Which small town value was that representative of? I love meth???

Her family seems so awesome and fun, but my gosh, they are a little exhausting.

Melisa Cook – I totally agree with you about the creepy stalker phone commercial. They keep showing it during the Bachelor. Coincidence? I don’t think so. It frightens me. Speaking of creepy – the advertisement for, and tour of, Shawntel’s funeral home. Me donne la chair de poule! Ooops, sorry, we’re in Cali now, not in Maine so no more French. It made my skin crawl!! I get that it’s her family business, but I would tell Shawntel what my grandfather told me as I was working toward my MBA to go into public accounting – “have you ever thought about being a teacher? That’s a good job for a woman.”

Brad is visibly freaked out. Understandably so. Why is he laying on the table??? Are you kidding me? They took that WAY too far.

Awkward times 20 when Shawntel told her family she was open to moving to Austin. Dad takes her to the bedroom to give her a talking to. Way to throw the guilt at her with the death of her high school teacher’s son – but “don’t feel bad about that.” Jeez! That was some terrible! Just wait a few minutes Dad. She’s probably not getting a rose after that prep table incident, so your succession plan is secure.

Off to Charlotte, NC and I just have to say – I’m not sure how this all works behind the scenes, but if they really had Emily see her daughter for the first time the same day that the daughter had to meet Brad, all in front of the cameras – that is NOT fair to anyone.

Oh my gosh – I want to live in Rickie’s room! How awesome was that! Brad and Emily’s date got weird quick. But Emily’s house is gorgeous!

Now for the recap and in the name of Alli K, it looks like the photographs are back for the remainder of the season. Brad takes a few moments to think it all over. Apparently in the orchid room. Where was he? There were like 28 orchids in there.

Off to the rose ceremony, and honestly, I like all these girls, except Ashley who is really starting to drive me nuts, but I think Brad is keeping her for the long haul. Emily is wearing my 10th grade prom dress in royal blue rather than teal and Ashley is wearing a sequined slip. And yes, first rose to Ashley. Big sigh. Emily next, followed by serious worry on my part, and then Chantal. Why does he always make her wait til last?!!?

Poor Shawntel. I feel so bad for her, I think we all loved her, but that profession, and knowing that your family would hate him for taking her away – it was all too much. Plus, I think Brad wants to have the biggest back tat in his family and your tramp stamp was too much competition.

Best line of the night by Brad “Do you have a minute?” Well, Brad, you just embarrassed her on national television – what else is she going to do. Her calendar is clear! And oh Brad – no matter how cold she was – she was NOT taking your jacket! And shame on you for copping a last feel of her legs after you dumped her!

In all seriousness – rain follows these people around or else the producers got a special on water hoses and just walk around using them. They have yet to go somewhere when it wasn’t raining at some point during the day. I grew up in Georgia, and it honest to goodness either droughts, or rains here every single day for at least five minutes between June 20 and August 31, but it’s too much for even me to believe. Every single limo ride is accented with rain. It makes me think of that scene in Pretty Woman with Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love" playing in the background. Enough with the rain!

I feel really sad for Shawntel on her goodbye trip, but if she is really thinking this set the bar for someone else to treat her this way, “how a woman should be treated…like a princess” um, I’m sorry. A ‘buy what you want’ spree at the Vegas version of Phipps Plaza followed by a trip to Costa Rica and Anguilla is not normal! That won’t happen again sweets :(

Next week looks awesome. But with the previews – it looks like he pulls Ashley away again for the “can I talk to you for second?” Good grief. Big fat yawn. I’m so over Ashley.

I want to hear what you ladies (and guys) think of this week’s episode!
KC